You Can't Do That

yes my friends, it's time for another REALLY REALLY RIDICULOUSLY RANDOM blog post from your favorite* blogger!

So I wanted to write today about a very strange hypothetical situation. What if...

it was COMPLETELY normal to not necessarily marry SOMEONE, but you could marry SOME THING?? huh? eh? huh?

Well...let's just say it were possible and not completely creeptastic.

Here's a few things that would be in the fight for my affection...

PIZZA
yes. pizza. thin crust pepperoni... hawaiian... pepperoni and black olives... mushroom... there's really NO way to say it that doesn't sound incredibly sexy.... well.. i mean aside from the dreaded "SUPREME," which really just has some major insecurities and needs to shed them onions and peppers. But really... spending a lifetime sleeping next to Pizza... having dinner every night with Pizza... er... you get the point. PIZZA. It's to die for. It's worth a lifetime of wedded bliss.

okay....
moving on...

COFFEE
you know, that stuff that God created on the 1st day that was sadly left out of the Bible. Sad really. Who could ever be ashamed of coffee? I mean really... even on the days when I spill it on my shirt, I wanna wear it proudly and say, "Yeah! That's right people! I'm madly in love with my coffee and I don't care who knows about it!" It was love at first taste... which sounds incredibly creepy...but I hope you'll understand. I think Natasha Bedingfield said it best when she said:

Well this life tried to keep us apart
you keep callin me back to your heart.
Let me hear you say,
aren’t you glad you found me,
wrap you all around me,
never find a love like this.

BARNES AND NOBLE
Imagine with me, will you—joining me and a giant library full of books as we celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary... We'd serve up sides of Tolstoy and Dante... and a musical performance by The Brothers Kramazov... it will be grand. I mean really... who wouldn't want to be surrounded by that wealth of knowledge? Forget Fortune 500... give me the good ol' B&N... we'll grow old together and discover new places in the TRAVEL section...and finally make our way to the CLASSICS... probably venture through the ROMANCE and ARTS section as well... and then when we're gone...you can find our kiddos in the CHILDREN'S section... ahh.

and...

CHOCOLATE
same rules apply as Pizza...just without the "Supreme" part. I'd marry "Supreme" Chocolate. In fact, it would probably beat out all the rest. What can I say...I ADORE chocolate. :D

This really ridiculously random blog post has been brought to you by the lucky number Slevin and by the letter A. Please... don't forget to tip your waiters and waitresses.

* even if i'm not REALLY your favorite blogger, let's just pretend—i have a low self-esteem ;)

PS: I'm not really going to marry those things... I will marry a wonderful someone...but in the meantime... these are my 'placeholders' ;)