Reach For The Sky

You know that moment when you get a gift from someone that comes at just the right time, and it's so beautiful that you just fall in love with it, and you wonder what you ever did to deserve such an amazing support system of friends??

Yeah, me too!

Monday I blogged about my incredibly bad day and how much that entire situation sucked. Tuesday blew Monday out of the water!

I got this little message on my Facebook wall on Tuesday:

I sent her the address and I knew she was up to something, but I wasn't sure what it was. After helping out at VBS during the morning, I headed in to work and a little while later, I got a call from the downstairs office saying I had a delivery. I went downstairs and was INCREDIBLY surprised with . . .

STUNNINGLY BEAUTIFUL FLOWERS!!

From Matthew Fox.

Just kidding. They're not from Matthew!
I know, I know, you TOTALLY thought they were ;)

They were from Alisa, which, in my humble opinion, is EVEN BETTER! I first got to know Alisa last fall when I started going to her small group. Through our small group meetings I got to know her more and once LOST came back on for the final season, I would go over to her house every week to watch it with her and her husband and a small group of friends. It was SO great to be part of another fun group of Losties. Over time I got to hang out with Alisa more, and every time I'm around her, she is a breath of fresh air. Her sweet, honest, and gracious personality is truly a comfort to me. She inspires me so much in her relationship with the Lord and in her relationships with others. I really am INCREDIBLY honored to know her and to get to spend time with her.

When I got the flowers, I laughed so hard because she did something incredibly thoughtful, but she did it in a super funny creative way! It was especially fun explaining to all my co-workers who Matthew Fox is! And I'm sure they thought I was nuts, the way I was blabbing on and on and on about how ridiculously good looking he is, and what a great actor he is, and about the funny comments I would make about marrying him when we would watch LOST. As I carried the flowers up to my office, I couldn't help but get emotional once again and start to tear up with tears of joy over the love and comfort and care that I felt from one simple gift from Alisa. It made my heart so happy and made my life feel so much fuller to know that I wasn't just carrying flowers up to my office, I was carrying a friendship with an amazing woman and all the encouragement, grace, and honor that is contained in Alisa's heart.

And now the flowers sit on my desk and I look at them and smile and feel the warm fuzzies all over again and count myself blessed to have such amazing friends!

Don't You (Forget About Me)

I'm back in blogtopia folks!!

This past week has been pretty "go—go—go" and I'm finally at a point where I can really unwind. :) I was able to meet our press deadlines for our two latest journals, which is a pretty big deal for me because I seriously had about 3 days to make one of them press-ready and it was kind of hectic. But I love to test my limits and push myself, and now I feel pretty accomplished. Tomorrow should prove to be a slower day, though, and that's also a really good thing! :)

In an attempt to unwind from today's adrenaline rush, I've been watching funny videos on YouTube :D I think I hit the jackpot when I found a collection of AMC commercials advertising Forrest Gump, in which they created movie trailers for it in different genres. They are still making me laugh!

In other news, I'm going to be home in one week! I still have so much to do. I told a friend of mine that I was already shopping for gifts to take home to my family and she thought it was silly that I would start planning for my trip 2 weeks out. But here's the thing, I'm a procrastinator when it comes to that sort of stuff. Seriously. Like, I generally don't even pack 'til the night before and even then, I'm really slow about it and I get distracted. So, come 1:30 a.m. the day OF my red-eye flight, I'd normally be saying to myself,

"Crap! I forgot to get that _______ for _________! Great.
Now they'll be the only one I didn't get a gift for. How awkward."

Trust me, it happens more often than you think. So I like to plan things out so that I don't leave anyone out. That's like, the worst feeling in the world to me.

Tomorrow I get off of work early and I'm going to get the rest of my family gifts, that way they're all in my room, ready to be packed! Next week will be another busy week, since I only have 3 days to get things ready for a big mail-out after I get back from my trip. Plus, I have a lot of stuff going on in the evenings as well.

PS: I can't wait to go to the beach!!!!!!!!! :D

Hammond Song

My birthday is about 4 months away. . .and I think I discovered a wondermous birthday present:

On Nov. 3rd (my b-day), the U.S. version of HOW TO BE will be released!! wheee!! I love it! :D









Okay so really i love Rob Pattinson, but hey it counts. It's a really fun movie :D

She Will Be Loved

So today I went out shopping and got some cute new clothes for my new baby niece, who should be making her grand entrance on Tuesday! Old Navy was having an AWESOME sale and I got tons of cute stuff for both the girls for cheap. I didn't get as much for Vanessa cause I'm taking her shopping when I get home. But Annabelle...she scored big time!! :D Here's some of the cute stuff I got her:

So I'm really anxious to see the new little addition to the fam! I remember when Vanessa was born, it was love at first sight! And it was so crazy in the delivery room too! My mom had been the one taking my sister to the doctors so she was, in essence, her "coach" but when it came time to actually have the baby in the hospital...my mom FROZE and like went to go sit down cause she was so frantic and out of it and just overwhelmed, so I ended up being the one to hold my sister's hand and hold her legs and talk her through everything when she was pushing. So I can't wait to see what it's like this time! ha!

My trip home couldn't be more perfect! Originally she wasn't due until the 20th, but the doctors are inducing her Monday night, and I am taking the red eye out of Seattle on Monday morning, so I'll be there Monday afternoon...and Kelley Rowe is picking me up and then we're gonna hang for a while until it's time to head to the hospital! :D And I'll stay all night with my sister at the hospital and then be there for Annabelle's grand entrance! I can't wait!! I just want to hold and hug her and kiss her already!! :D

Half The Girl

Earlier today I posted a tweet on my twitter (for those who have no idea what twitter is...go to twitter.com...they call messages "tweets") which in turn updated my facebook status. And here's what I wrote:

"feels like such a half right now"

So depending on if you read it on twitter or facebook, my name goes in front of the statement. So the Facebookers saw:

"Amanda Martinez feels like such a half right now"

and the Twitter-ers saw:

"amomca feels like such a half right now"

But the more I thought about it the more I wanted to blog about it.

I know that writing it, various handfuls of people may have been thinking different things... like:

- um...has she gone bonkers?
- is she being emo again?
- i knew being single would wear on her
- doesn't she remember that God completes her?
- she must be really desperate for a boyfriend
- those darn idealists...say the absolute weirdest, cryptic things
- she might be a little too creative for her own good...she's LOST it!

To which I might actually blame idealism and creativity...cause I could just say: wishes she could do everything she thinks about in her mind...

But let me let you in on a little secret...I think weird things.

Growing up, I was kind of a weird kid, and as I spent time letting a lot of my quirks come out as I grew up I realized that there's actually a LOT of people who are just (if not more) idealistic and creative (and definitely more) than me. And I LOVE IT!

I thrive on new ideas, new experiences, challenging myself to try something else. Because ingrained in me is a need for order and self-reliance...and consistency...but when I do DARE to try new things, to see things differently...it's overwhelmingly freeing! So all the time, I'm like...half creative emo funky chick and then I'm also like this half needy whiny brat who thinks the world should revolve around her and her schedule.

I mean, it's not enough that I have this creative mind that just runs 24 seven, but I want to do stuff with it...like...all the time. The majority of the time i vent creatively by drawing, or song writing or designing stuff on the computer. But what makes me feel "half" is that I want so bad to take what I love doing and share it with everyone...but not like...on a stage...like...just do something...

I guess the best way to explain it is this:

So not a lot of people know this... but when I was in High School, I took a songwriting course... and have always felt that expressing thought and feeling through music and lyrics is so powerful. And through the years, the songs I've written have grown and matured, and right now, I have about 15 songs in my Mac Journal that I'm super proud of... and I wish I could be in a studio, recording them and designing album artwork... and making a bunch of copies to give to my friends and family. But I know (and please, I'm not fishing for compliments) that I don't have the best voice. Don't get me wrong, I don't think I sing terrible, but I'm not trying out for American Idol any time soon. ;) And I wish I could play guitar... but I lack the discipline to sit down and learn. Cause I would probably play for like a couple of weeks... then all of a sudden, want to storyboard a video and go out and film it and then the next week, i'll want to spend a week drawing and painting and designing stuff... and then I'll decide it's time to focus on work and a consistent life schedule and then I'll get upset cause I'm not "on my schedule." And then I'll start to get restless and the creative side of me will be yelling to get out. So I'll go for a walk, and imagine in my head from start to stop, music videos to songs on my iPod that aren't actually that song's official music video. Then I'll imagine how I would direct it. Then I'll think how bad I want to act in it. Then I'll picture myself as an actress in a movie. And then I'll want to start writing about it. And the I'll think about how much I want to write a book...and this ambitious cycle just pounds and pounds away inside every part of my brain... until I remind myself that I need to stop at the store and go grocery shopping, and then I'll think how I need to be more organized. And how I'm going to organize my shelves in the kitchen, and my room...and then i'll get back to my room and want to read a book and then i want to WRITE a book...and well...you get the point.

It's crazy,, eh?

But the funny thing is...I LOVE IT! I love my life, and I love my brain, and I love the God that inspires me to be creative, and I love that I'm not so deeply creative that I can't be focused when I need to be. And I love that I'm not like most 27 year olds I know, wanting to act so mature all the time, and so intelligent, and seeking to find new philosophies for walking from point A to point B. I love that I see the world differently. I love that I can be silly and not feel bad about it.

So though there are times that I feel like I'm

HALF musician
HALF mother
HALF artist
HALF singer
HALF songwriter
HALF teacher
HALF leader
HALF friend
HALF enemy
HALF wise
HALF silly....

I am wholly in love with my Creator. And I'm totally in love with who He has made me to be. And sure, I might not have a top 40 album...but I'll always have the words...in my heart, in my mind, in my soul, and in my Mac Journal. And I might not have an art exhibit, but I'll never forget how to color outside the lines, and how to draw a puppy dog using basic shapes, and how to draw eyes on drawing paper. And I may not be a Hollywood A-Lister...or B-Lister...or...let's face it...even a Z-Lister. hahahahahahahahahaha! But I still know how to say things with funny accents and how to make funny faces that make people laugh...and (just ask anyone from Ten Student Minsitries) how to do a turkey dance. And I absolutely love every piece of design that makes up who I am. It's amazing to me! So yeah, I feel like HALF a bunch of things... but I'm pretty okay with that.... half the time. ;)

PS: in light of this...please don't think i'm psycho....i'm not. :D