Friday, January 30, 2009


The SAG Awards have come and gone, and as an award show fan, I must apologize for my neglect.i missed them! :( But I did read the updates and I'm really excited for all the winners. And I must say, that this round of awards...the dresses were just stunning! Here are my favorites:

Okay, so I don't think I've seen anyone so glowing and gorgeous!! For playing a character on a show called UGLY BETTY...America really knows how to class it up!! She's always got such great dresses and outfits on! She's my fashion hero! :D

I promise I'm not just capitalizing on the Latinas... Rosario Dawson is absolutely stunning in this outfit! I love the silver bracelet accent and the way the tight wrap falls out at the bottom...and her makeup is so glam!

Okay so usually, I'm not a fan of Clare Danes' outfits. Mainly because everytime I see her, I think of the scenes in her movies where she cries...and it's a kind of irritating cry. She's a good's just the crying...kinda throws me off. :( But in this dress...she looks so gorgeous! This really is a "power" gown for her, I think. It makes her seem taller and more confident and less 'mousy.' I love it! She's so glamorous!

It's no surprise that Kyra rocks with the older hollywood crowd...but for being older..she is so captivating in this dress! I love the black and white look and she totally pulls it off with style!

Thursday, January 29, 2009

A Whole New World

To liven up the mood around these here parts, I wanted to share with you 5 of my favorite Disney songs! I really really want to visit Disneyland or Disneyworld! I love theme parks! Here they are, in no particular order:

CAMP ROCK: "I Gotta Find You/This is Real"

HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 3: "The Boys Are Back"

CARS: "Life Is A Highway"

BEAUTY AND THE BEAST: "Beauty And The Beast"

THE LION KING: "I Just Can't Wait To Be King"

Hope some of these take you back! :D

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Please Don't Call It Love

I want to take a moment to express something that has really been bugging me for the past couple of weeks. And it may seem like I'm being overbearing, harsh, or even downright selfish...but since "Putting Things Before People" is one of my biggest pet peeves... I feel the need to share some of the thoughts rolling around in my head... And just to forewarn you, it is kind of "ranty" but I gotta get it out..and I figure this is the platform I'm choosing...just to be honest.

During my visit home, I've gotten to see some true colors flowing from people. A friend of mine was hanging out with me, and we wanted to hang out with some of our old friends. Bear in mind, that my friend and I are NO LONGER living in Austin...and this visit home, is going to be the only one until the end of June, beginning of July (for me/May...i think for her). And we've both been gone for at least 6 months. So when we come in town to visit, it's really not asking a lot to have others hang out with us. I wish things would have turned out better, and people would have chosen to hang out with us instead of check their emails or play games or go to bed early. And to those who re-arranged your schedules and took off time and made the tough decision to wake up earlier the next day to get things done, THANK YOU! I/We had a BLAST hanging out and talking with you!

I really had some interesting experiences. My friend was released from our school last year due to lack of tuition. And she is very analytical, and constantly has thoughts flowing through her head. And though the majority of the time, she has this pet proverbial rain cloud looming over her head, she has some valid hurts. When election time came around, she had some strong viewpoints and got a LOT of flack for it. Some people in general, just have this view of her as a person because her viewpoints vary from status quo and because she questions a LOT of things. I'm not saying she's right about everything, she's very opinionated, and sometimes she's wrong. But when people come up to you and say, "Oh, you're __________. I've heard about you...." (in a kind of inauspicious tone) And then they just walk away, leaving you wondering..."What have they heard?" It's hard to not let things get to you.

As easy as it is for us to teach others: "IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK..."
It does matter. We, as human beings, care about what other people think of us. I'm not saying that it means we love God less. It's just this utter timeless desire to be accepted by others. So when you've spent an extended amount of time building a relationship with people, and giving your all to see them get better, and you come back to a cold shoulder, it really makes you feel like a loser. And that matters.

But I think what made me madder was that after my friend flew back to her new state...the same people who treated us like jerks...wanted to come up to me and hug me and treat me like royalty. And I was just so amazed. I was mad and amazed. It was like night and day. Almost this bi-polar effect. Did they really just come up to me and act like they weren't a complete jerk to my friend, who they were also supposed to be "friends" with? Come again? eh? not cool.

you moved away to a different state, and payed money to visit home, and everyone treated you like a social pariah. Not very awesome, is it? What if you spent significant time with the same core group of people, and when they see you after 6 months, they look at you like you're this crack addict....or worse, they smile to your face, and say crappy things about you to others when you're not even around to defend yourself. Makes you feel really valued, eh? I think not.

Is that really what God had in mind when He said to consider others better than yourself? When He said to love thy neighbor as thyself? I'm sorry, but love is more action than emotion.

People aren't perfect, and I know it. But we can learn. I have to learn ALL THE TIME!! I'm totally NOT PERFECT (sorry folks!). But I don't care what's going on, people are always more important than things to me. And if a friend of mine came up to visit me, I would do everything in my power to make them feel like a million bucks. Even if they weren't my close close close friend. People matter. And we should treat them like humans, not complete losers, especially if we're going to go around referring to ourselves as Christians.

Take This

So, tomorrow I leave to head back up to Seattle! I have had so much fun hanging out and reconnecting with old friends! To those I haven't gotten to see, I'll be back at the end of June/beginning of July! I think today's blog will be laid back. So I'm just gonna share some new (well, not new, but newly added to my iTunes) music for you to check out! Enjoy!

A new personal favorite: YOU FOUND ME by The Fray

ONCE WHEN I WAS LITTLE by James Morrison

TROUBLE by Ray LaMontagne

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Year 3000

Jetsons Video Phone

Is anyone else disappointed that we're not living it up Jetson style? I am. I have been waiting years for my car that flies and for my robotic television that tells me what outfit will look good for every occasion.

I do kind of wish that there were technologies that would diminish our need for money... you know, like tele-porters, so that we wouldn't have to spend money on gas and transportation, we could just teleport from place to place.

Then again, maybe some of our more conveniences are more of a hindrance than a help. Me and my friend Kelley were having a discussion one day about the movie Wall.E and how it pretty accurately depicts the future that we as a nation are headed to. Relying on technology to make all the right choices for us is very scary.

I personally would LOVE to have a robot maid, but I would be afraid that it would teach me that it's okay to be lazy and to rely on technology to teach me discipline.

After finding out I had pre-diabetes, I made a conscious choice to make changes to my diet, to my lifestyle and my habits to promote a healthier body, so that I wouldn't have to live with diabetes. And it's going great!

But it also makes me think about other things I've been so negligent about. Like taking care of the environment. And maybe it's just because of living in such a green city as Seattle, but I find myself being more environmentally aware. I'm not saying that I'm this super massive uber "greeny" or a major tree hugger, but I'm learning to do little things here and there to help save a world that my nieces will grow up in. :D

I used to tease my friend Stacey because she was reading this book about "going green" and some of the things just seemed so extreme. But she challenged me to do just 3 things, and be consistent with them. So I am.

1. I use the public transportation system
2. I recycle
3. When I go shopping, I use cloth bags and not plastic.

It doesn't kill me, but it helps me be more aware of things. Now that I am eating more healthy, and taking better care of myself, and losing weight, I feel a greater confidence, and when I do things that I know make a difference in such a simple way, it feels great! So I am challenging you to do 3 help the environment. They don't have to be huge. Just do something to help better yourself and the environment. Because when the year 3000 rolls around, I don't want my nieces to be floating around in chairs, weighing 300 pounds, lazying about just going through the motions. I want them to care as well, and be able to go on walks and give back to their community.

for ideas:

Monday, January 26, 2009

In The Middle

I came across a good article today at one of the Pyschology sites I frequent, and it was talking about the bond between siblings and it briefly talked about birth order. You know, the supposed temperaments of children based on their age/status in the sibling line. I am a middle child, with an older brother and younger sister. Both of my siblings are COMPLETELY different from me. My brother is more set in his ways, kinda one sided, listens to rap, is really smart however chooses not to pursue higher education, and is very very unconcerned with the choices that others make. My sister is set in her ways but still gives a little leeway here and there for any hitches that might come up along the way. She is definitely more open to change than I am, yet rarely makes it a habitual occurrence. She is multi-sided, depending on what response she wants to receive, listens to tejano, rap and pop music (variety!). She is super sweet, but not very focused when it comes to making necessary decisions. She's primarily concerned with the choices that others make as it pertains to how they affect her. I see the world in so many multi-colors and textures. I'm not all that smart, but I have a drive to learn more and more every day. I listen to more emo-type music as well as some top 40, and alternative rock. I don't always embrace change so willingly and I like to have a game plan and steps. I'm the idealist in my family and always want to be the peacemaker. And I have an amazing stubborn streak. I am constantly concerned with the choices that others make as it pertains to how it affects others.

Don't you feel sorry for my parents already? ;)

Here are some snippets of what I read today in relation to being a middle child:

Birth order personalities
Oldest kids tend to emerge strong confident leaders. For example, almost all of the U.S. Presidents were either the first-born child or the first-born son in their families. And, all but two of the first astronauts sent into space were first-borns. The oldest child or the firstborn is always going to be the most anticipated and exciting for the parent. Parents are nervous and making a trial run of their parenting skills. Every first is something new and exciting to celebrate. Plus, the baby gets full parental time and attention. However, as a child gets older frustrations can develop as oldest children tend to have more parental restrictions than younger siblings. Older children also may have the added responsibility of taking care of their younger brothers or sisters.

Adding second and third children greatly impacts the family structure, and a middle child is created. Yes, the “Middle Child Syndrome” is very real. Middle kids bemoan their fate as being ignored and often grow resentful of all the parental attention given to the oldest and the baby of the family, and feel short-shifted. Three kids triangulate sibling relationships, with one child at any given point feeling like the odd man out from the chumminess of the other two.

Parents tend to be much more easy-going, less anxious, and less demanding with second and third children. Thus many middle children grow up with a more relaxed attitude towards life than their older siblings; though they have to compete for family attention against the milestones set by the oldest, and growing up in their shadow. Middle children have to try a little harder to “be heard” or get noticed. The middle child usually has to fight harder for the attention of their parents and therefore crave the family spotlight. They may feel that they do not get as much praise as the older children for simple firsts like tying a shoe or riding a bike. Those things just become expected.

The baby of the family basks in the sentimentality of being the last child, and are basically spoiled rotten. The youngest children tend to be most affectionate, and more sophisticated than their peers without older siblings to show them the ropes.

Middle children
Middle kids are said to be great negotiators and peacemakers, with laid-back attitudes and a love of socializing. As such, they're thought to be natural schmoozers and consensus builders when they grow up. According to Linda Dunlap, Ph.D., a birth-order--theory expert and professor of psychology at Marist College in Poughkeepsie, New York, they're the most likely to move far from home once they grow up, partly because they're seeking a clear identity after having spent their early years sandwiched between sibs.

Some middle kids suffer from the firstborn's long shadow, and because of it, it's said, are prone to rebelliousness and competitiveness.

Middle Children: Finding Their Own Pride of Place
by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P.
reviewed by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P.

Oldest and youngest children can usually find reasons to be glad about their place in the family. Not so middle children. They often aren't the biggest and strongest, they aren't the babies who get away with murder, they aren't really anything special, at least in their own minds. Sometimes they feel invisible.

But this uncomfortable feeling of not having a defined place in the family may actually turn out to be an advantage. Unlike first children, who often define success by their ability to meet their parents' expectations, middle children are more prone to rebel against the status quo. This observation is the main point of a fascinating book, Born to Rebel: Birth Order, Family Dynamics, and Creative Lives, by Frank J. Sulloway. The book also argues that birth order--the middle position in particular--is one of the prime forces behind the scientific and social revolutions that drive history forward. I'd wager that most middle children had no idea that they were so important.

Another result of having a less well-defined place in the family is that middle children often reach outside the family for significant relationships. They make close circles of friends. During adolescence, in particular, they may be especially influenced by their peer groups, often to their parents' dismay.
For any middle child, the biggest point of comparison is the sibling who falls just before them in the birth order. Often, rather than competing head-on with that older sibling, the middle child chooses to go in a different direction. If the older sibling is a great student, for example, the middle child may become a musician or an athlete. (There's some research suggesting that middle children are more likely to engage in dangerous sports, perhaps because they are used to taking risks.) By choosing a niche that isn't already occupied, a middle child increases his chances of standing out and being noticed, and decreases the risk of negative comparisons.

Middle children, who are usually smaller than their older siblings while they're growing up, often learn non-aggressive strategies to get what they want, such as negotiation, cooperation, or seeking parental intervention. As the underdogs themselves in many sibling conflicts, middle children often develop a fine sense of empathy with the downtrodden, as do many youngest children. Where first and last children may tend to be self-centered, middle children often take a genuine interest in getting to know other people. Being in the middle, they may find it easier to look at interpersonal situations from various points of view.

For the most part, I do agree with these things. As I was finishing up the article on the first site I was checking out, the author added this to the end, and it's really good for thought. No matter what order you are in, you should definitely ask yourself these questions:

Escape your family role
Do you still react to others the way you behaved with your siblings? Dr Dorothy Rowe suggests asking yourself the following questions to find out if you’re still playing your childhood roles:

Do you feel you have to be in charge because you’re more responsible than the others, or see yourself as the baby, needing to be looked after?
Do you compete with colleagues to win the approval of your boss?
In your family, were you ‘the good one’ or ‘the bad one’? Do you feel that others still see you this way? Are you still trying to fill your role because that’s what people expect of you?
Do you see your relationships with contemporaries as power struggles that you must win, or people will despise you? Or do you expect that in a power struggle you’ll always lose, just as you always lost to your siblings?
Do you measure everyone you meet against your siblings, and find others lacking?


Sunday, January 25, 2009

The Pieces Don't Fit Anymore

I think it's safe to say that I've reached a point where the pieces don't fit anymore. You know, that moment when you've resolved to chasing your dream and you're so in love with where your life is at, that the thought of returning is just too outrageous. I have loved visiting people here in Austin, but with 4 days left, I can't help but feel this anxiousness to get back to Seattle. I can't wait to see Jessica and Joseph and Jesselyn and Christiaan and Pastor J. and Deb and Amanda and Corbett and everyone!

I remember when I was leaving, I was so nervous, so many thoughts about whether I would survive away from it all, and what my life would look like when I came back to visit. But coming back, I realize that I have to be where I'm at. Because the pieces of my world here don't fit in my life anymore. Things have changed, people have come and gone, things are moving on, and I get to be a smaller distant part of it, and that's what I need. :D I get to see all the awesome things going on, and I get to go back to what I will call home for a really long time. :D

I am finally beginning to realize the beauty in change. The freedom in chasing a dream, and seeing it come to life. It's so amazing! And I am truly blessed to have all the people in Austin who have helped me get to the place where I am now! They made so many things possible. And I'm so glad that the pieces in Seattle do fit so perfectly!

So for all my Austin friends, I hope I get to see you guys before I leave and that you guys continue to grow and grow and grow...

and to all my Seattle friends, I'm coming home soon! I miss you much and I can't wait to see you all and hug you!

and to my family: thanks for being so awesome! I will see you again in June/July! And someday, I hope you guys will ALL understand why I need to be in Seattle and that I love you so much despite the distance! :D

Amo- out! :D

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Nobody Knows Me At All

25 random things about me:

1. I love the BBC Version of Pride and Prejudice and stubbornly refuse to watch any other versions.

2. I totally love Psychology

3. I usually buy cell phones because i think they're cool looking or have cool features, not necessarily for their functionality

4. I am an army brat

5. I am really bad at of them!

6. My idea of camping involves a cabin with a TV, DVD Player, and Fireplace.

7. I love quoting lines from movies, and in everyday conversation, certain phrases make me think of lines from movies and my whole demeanor will change because all i can think of is that moment in the film

8. I really want to visit Barcelona and Madrid, Spain

9. I exist in Bear form (my friend owns a build a bear that resembles me!)

10. My dream car is an indie blue mini cooper s with white racing stripes

11. My favorite foods are: Red Robin's Mushroom and Swiss burger and Pizza Hut's Stuffed Crust Pepperoni and Black Olive pizza! Although I don't get to eat either very much anymore, if I did, it would be a MEGA treat!

12. I love making people laugh

13. The majority of my blog titles are song titles. And I stole the idea from One Tree Hill...because all of their episode titles are either album or song titles :D

14. I wish I could dance all kinds of dances. And I kind of wish I had a dance studio where I could just make up dance choreography and teach others.

15. I am a completely idealistic person

16. I do my best to "qualify" people before i "disqualify" them.

17. I am afraid of heights and falling from them

18. I am wary of putting people on pedestals and of being put on a pedestal

19. I am in love with love

20, I am really bad at math

21. It's really easy for me to be a jerk to my parents because I know that they will still love me no matter what.

22. I would rather tell a guy up front how i feel about him, than leave him wondering

23. I love living in Seattle!

24. I love to teach!

25. I wish my brother had a facebook. :D

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better

You know the scene. You're talking to a friend, and you say, "When I was a kid, I had the hardest time learning to tie my shoes. It took me like 2 months" and your friend responds, "Yeah I know, it took me 5 months to learn to tie my shoes. And even after that, I had to have my mom help me sometimes." And all of a sudden, you realize that Tracy Bonham knew what she was saying when she said:

For everyone, there's another one that's stronger
So out you go, like the trash that you drug in

I have always wondered why it seemed so necessary for others to always "one up" a person. It's almost as if you're saying to that person, "That's nice. But I'm so much better, so much more desperate, so much more ___________ than you are. Isn't that awesome??" And let me just tell you, no. It's not awesome. There are so many people who just want to be heard and noticed. And if you continue to "one up" them, I'm not so sure I'd blame them for lying to dominate the conversation. I feel like those who choose to dominate the conversation are more concerned with dominating the people than they are the actual topic of discussion. And how wrong is that?!?

We find it so easy to go through life playing this comparison game and it's just so desperate and sad. Because I've seen that look so many times. When someone is telling a story and that one person is thinking, and the wheels are turning, and they are waiting to jump on the last word to explain how their experience is better/worse/more important, and it causes the person originally speaking to feel like a peon who doesn't matter, and is unimportant. All value that could have been added by simply responding with a :

- That's so cool
- That's amazing
- Wow. I never knew that about you.
- I am so sorry you had to go through that
- That must be tough

is now tossed out the window...along with that person's desire to share anything with anyone ever again.

But when we can learn to respond to people's life experience stories by (what I like to call) "letting them win," everyone wins.  I love when I'm in a conversation, and i don't "win" or dominate the conversation, but I get to learn more about a person, and that person gets to feel like they matter.  And that a winning feeling.  :D

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Oldest Story In The World

I had the awesome opportunity yesterday to teach Life Lessons for the Master's Commission of Austin crew, and I got to share about my transition from Austin to Seattle. I based the majority of it from my blog about THE RESOLUTION (see blog post list on the side bar for reference).

Here are the points I discussed:

- Find your passion and hang on tight!
- If you don't know what your passion is yet, ask yourself these questions:
-> What matters to me?
-> What makes me happy?
-> If someone gave me one hundred million dollars and said, "Go chase your dreams" what would I do?
- Focus on making it real. Don’t just focus on making it happen, make it real and make it matter.
- Focus on the right things while you're in Master's
- Don’t get so caught up in the drama of who likes who, who’s cute? who’s my future mate material. Focus on, when I meet my future spouse, what substance am I bringing to the table? Am I going to bring a half to the whole or am I going to bring another whole person to the whole of me and my future spouse?

- A scripture is just a scripture until it means something to you
- Scriptures that have guided me: Hosea 13:4-6; Psalm 51:6
- Hosea> I promised myself that no matter where God takes me in life, I cannot risk forgetting Him. I cannot let myself forget Him. Because if I forget Him, I forget who I am.
- Psalm> Honesty is hard. And the easiest person for me to lie to is God. This is my gut check verse. You gotta be honest with God. And you gotta be honest with yourself.

- Have someone or some people in your life that you allow to get into your heart and really push you to stay on course.
- Who is helping you get to where you need to go?
- Who is speaking into your life?
- Whose life are you speaking into?
- Will you keep it up even when you don't feel like it?
For a reference point, you can send an email to your 'future' self at

- Are you a superhero, a sidekick or a villain? (I choose to be a sidekick)
- Will you do something you dislike if it meant saving your life?
- what about someone else's life?
- What's more important: being RIGHT or being GODLY?
- If you go somewhere with this giant ego, thinking that your skills and outstanding ability to do a stomp routine are going to get you a step up in life and are going to land you that huge high paying job, you may find yourself camped out permanently in the unemployment line.
- People are watching every move you make, and what you do matters, both positively and negatively. With this new opportunity to do youth ministry, I’m not out to be superwoman. I’m looking to be an awesome sidekick for God and my senior pastor.
- The mentality of “I’m a second/third year/staff so you have to do what I say ALWAYS scares me.” Because when you’re in a real life situation, that doesn’t work. Ever.

- When you are on the way to chasing ANY dream, there will ALWAYS be obstacles. There will be setbacks. There will be hard times. There will be great times! There will be times where you feel you can't go on or you're failing. Have a game plan. Remind yourself to pray. Remind yourself to be accountable.
- What scares you the most about your life outside of the Master's bubble?
- What are you doing to do when it happens?

Live in the Resolution.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Bella's Lullaby

I'm so excited to be an aunt again!!! Anabelle Yvette Bautista was born Tuesday, January 13th around 10 p.m. weighing 8 pounds, 4 ounces! When Vanessa was born, I chose a song that I would sing to her as a type of lullaby. It would be a song I would sing to her when she was sleeping, and when she was crying, and that when she got older I would sing to her as well. Vanessa's song was "I'M YOUR ANGEL" by R.Kelly and Celine Dione. Yesterday at Olive Garden, I was holding Anabelle and I picked out her song and I kept her sleeping soundly. My sister was amazed that Anabelle was sleeping in my arms. The song I chose for her was "FOR YOU I WILL" by Monica. I've included the songs below so you can hear them. :D I love my angel girlies! :D they're the best!

And no, you're not hallucinating...they are REALLY cheesy songs...but they're sweet :D

Anabelle's Lullaby

Vanessa's Lullaby

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Ladies Night

I made it safe and sound into Austin and I got to spend some good time hanging out with Kelley Rowe and then we went to the hospital and have been here since (well, i dropped kel off earlier). Here is a video blog of some of the fun times we had in the hospital room! Enjoy!

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Leaving On a Jet Plane

Well folks, I'm all done packing and ready to get going to the airport to fly out to Austin on the red eye. :D But to add some fun, I decided to make a video blog. I hope you like it! Thanks for checking out the blog!

Saturday, January 10, 2009

She Will Be Loved

So today I went out shopping and got some cute new clothes for my new baby niece, who should be making her grand entrance on Tuesday! Old Navy was having an AWESOME sale and I got tons of cute stuff for both the girls for cheap. I didn't get as much for Vanessa cause I'm taking her shopping when I get home. But Annabelle...she scored big time!! :D Here's some of the cute stuff I got her:

So I'm really anxious to see the new little addition to the fam! I remember when Vanessa was born, it was love at first sight! And it was so crazy in the delivery room too! My mom had been the one taking my sister to the doctors so she was, in essence, her "coach" but when it came time to actually have the baby in the mom FROZE and like went to go sit down cause she was so frantic and out of it and just overwhelmed, so I ended up being the one to hold my sister's hand and hold her legs and talk her through everything when she was pushing. So I can't wait to see what it's like this time! ha!

My trip home couldn't be more perfect! Originally she wasn't due until the 20th, but the doctors are inducing her Monday night, and I am taking the red eye out of Seattle on Monday morning, so I'll be there Monday afternoon...and Kelley Rowe is picking me up and then we're gonna hang for a while until it's time to head to the hospital! :D And I'll stay all night with my sister at the hospital and then be there for Annabelle's grand entrance! I can't wait!! I just want to hold and hug her and kiss her already!! :D

Friday, January 9, 2009

Dude Looks Like A Lady

Oh my gosh. I was checking out the MSN homepage today...and they had a feature on these Man Pantyhose called MANTYHOSE! hahahahahahahahaha!!! I seriously laughed so hard out loud!! Okay, so here's the thing...I don't even personally like wearing Pantyhose... and the thought of men wearing ridiculous!! I can only imagine that the men wearing them are glutton for punishment! Apparently, they even come in a lacy pattern. Oh my goodness gracious... seriously? Look guys, I know some of you think that pantyhose are sexy on women... but when the situation is reversed...I guarantee... most of the chicks don't reciprocate that mess. hahahahahahaha!! And I know that some guys really want the support and the slim look and all the benefits of pantyhose (wait..there ARE benefits???) I think it's best to stick with skinny jeans. You know, cause at least when you trip and fall, there's no accidental peekage of the nasty guy thigh going on. I mean, if you wanna wear them, more power to ya... but if I see you in them, no lie, I'm probably gonna laugh so hard I fall down and hyperventilate. For those who want to know more, here's some info on MANTYHOSE!

and an article to go with:

Sunday, January 4, 2009

The Story Of A Girl

So I bought the latest issue of Psychology Today, and came across a really good article. And it reminded me of some stuff I have been researching lately. And it's all about girls. The pressure and expectations on girls in modern day society. It's a topic I've actually researched for a while. From reading books about the initiation process that girls have when joining a gang, to the expectations put on girls for big events like Quincineras and Sweet 16 parties, to girls bullying girls in school. The subject really interests me, mainly because I've been in those shoes, and I have a feeling that if you're female and reading this post, you've experienced some of the crazy "expectations" put on girls by society, and even our own families.

I remember a time when I was in like, the 4th or 5th grade when I was over at my aunt's house because all the fam was having their annual poker night. Me and my cousin were just running around the house playing and then I went to get a snack from the kitchen. And my grandma made the stern comment, "Look at you. You're getting so fat. You need to lose weight." I remember just feeling so disgusted with myself. I was just a kid. But for the longest time, those words stuck with me. And it took me what seems like FOREVER to be able to look at myself in the mirror and actually be in love with the person staring right back at me. To be able to look in the mirror and say, "You are beautiful." But now that I can, and do frequently (and totally mean it!) I realize how freeing it is to be completely unique, and completely okay with the person that I am.

I am finally comfortable in my own skin!

So it makes so much sense that I have this desire to help mentor girls of all ages who have low self-esteem and who deal with major stress issues and to give them encouragement and hope and love and life. I recently was doing some research on some various song lyrics of songs I've heard here and there and just made notes to look up the lyrics and meanings to. Tori Amos wrote a song once called CORNFLAKE GIRL, and it's this really obscure song, and a lot of her stuff has some crazy meanings, so I looked into it and I was really really inspired by what she said about the song:

"I read the Alice Walker book, Possessing the Secret of Joy, and there's umm, in that book, the mothers take the daughters to the butchers to have their, let's say their genitalia removed. And even though it's a patriarchal culture that she's talking about, and that this custom was put into practice a long, long time ago by the patriarchy, it's the mothers that take their daughters. And, what I was singing about was, it's funny how from generation to generation women really betray each other in the ladies' room. There is a whole secret society that happens, and a lot of times a mother will say 'I'm doing this for your good' whether it was binding the feet in the Eastern cultures or whether it's marrying your daughter to this gangrene, smelly-breathed, old, decrepit, rotting scumbag that's 80 years old with dough. 'You know, this is really the best for you,' when the truth is, it's the best for everybody else. And, that's an extreme of women's relationships brought to just like, your girlfriend that you're hanging out with, but betrayal is betrayal, and I was thrown in to many situations as I was reading that book where girls, my girls, we were just dissin' each other. The things that we were doing, umm, it's like I would have never imagined that we could be so unsupportive of each other, and it was just happening while I was reading this book, and Cornflake Girl is the betrayal really of girls."
-- Tori; 99X Radio Interview, 08/05/94

And after reading that, it just reminded me of so many things I've researched where it all comes down to this innate societal expectation and feeling of women trying to be better and to be the best and to be the prettiest this and the cutest this and the smartest that, and all the while, failing to just be comfortable in their own skin.  And knowing there are parents and older and younger sisters judge them depending on what they look like, or how popular they are in school and how many boys are interested in them.  And I just can't help but be so angry with that.    

I realize that to a lot of people, my niece is just darling.  But when I talk to her and hang out with her, I think it's so important for me to remind her that she is beautiful.  That she is smart.  That she is amazing.  That she is loved.  And I make it a point to let her know that no matter what, she is all of those things.  There was a time when I was visiting in November and she wanted to wear a dress and it was REALLY cold outside, so I told her she should put on pants.  And she started crying and said, "but Daddy likes this dress!"  And she was so distraught.  4 years old, and stressing about what to wear already!   So I told her she could wear both, but that she should know that no matter what she wears, she's beautiful and daddy will love her anyway.  

After reading the article and reading some statistics, I thought to myself, how I wish I could hug every girl out there and tell her that.  That no matter what, just because she is, she's beautiful and she deserves to know how wonderful she is.

Here are some of the statistics I've come across:
- Only 2% of women around the world describe themselves as beautiful
- 81% of women in the US strongly agree that "the media and advertising set an unrealistic standard of beauty that most women can't ever achieve."
- 7 in 10 girls believe they are not good enough or do not measure up in some way, including their looks, performance in school and relationships with friends and family members
- 75% of girls with low self-esteem reported engaging in negative activities, such as eating disorders, cutting, bullying, smoking or drinking when feeling badly about themselves (Compared to 25% of girls with high self-esteem)
- 57% of all girls have a mother who criticizes her own looks

In the Psychology Today article, Steve Hinshaw, author of a soon-to-be-released book titled:  THE TRIPLE BIND, states:

"...girls today are subjected to unrealistic pressures from society and the media, and their once-private identity struggles are now public, thanks to the internet.  Girls are still socialized to be nurturing caregivers but are now  pressured to excel academically and athletically as much as boys- all while remaining thin, sexy and beautiful."

Through the years, girls have been subjected to the magnifying glass of society more and more, and have been made to live over-scheduled, overtaxed, over-sexualized lives and they tend to take it out on one another in traditional competition style.  And to add insult to injury, some are even finding it easier to take it out on themselves.  I believe that it is our responsibility as human beings to care for one another.  And if that means simply telling someone genuinely that they look beautiful, or that they are smart, or that they are worthwhile, let's do it!  

Saturday, January 3, 2009


So I came across this song, which is set to be featured in one of the next few episodes of One Tree Hill.  It's a song by a chick named ROSI GOLAN and features William Fitzsimmons called "HAZY."  And it really sparked a few thoughts in my mind.  It made me think about wedded bliss.  Like, when people are in that blissed out happy stage of marriage where everything is perfect.  And it made me think about how so many people are like, "but once that stage fades out, marriage just fades along with it."  And that is just so sad to me.  Because I am such an idealist, I can't imagine anything but smiles, love, fighting/making up, and a deep appreciation for the gift that God blesses me with.  I hope that even in the hard times, I can see past financial strain, and past job-related headaches, and beyond my own selfish whiny-ness and just stop and say, "You know what honey?  Let's just take a minute to stop.  Let's put on this song and dance and remember why we fell in love in the first place."  Cause I think that if I ever forget just how amazingly special that person is to me, then things are really just gonna suck...and I'm dedicated to making my future marriage just plain breathtakingly amazing.  So, for all you married couples who are feeling strained or drained, or just at a dry point...please stop for a moment, go to iTunes and buy this song, then put the kids to bed early with the promise of pancakes in the morning, grab your honey-bunny...and dance to this song in your living room and just remember for a moment how special that person is to you and enjoy each other's smiles and warm touches, and heart.  :D

I watched you sleeping quietly in my bed
You don’t know this now but there’s some things that need to be said
And it’s all that I can hear, It’s more than I can bare

What if I fall and hurt myself? Would you know how to fix me
What if I went and lost myself? Would you know where to find me
If I forgot who I am, would you please remind me oh?
Cause without you things go hazy

Thursday, January 1, 2009


Wow!  It's really here!  2009!  Like many people, it will probably still take me about a month to get used to dating everything with an 09 instead of an o8, but it should prove to be really fun catching the mistakes!  :D

If you're like me, you hate making New Years Resolutions, because it seems like no matter what Resolutions people make, everyone around just condones it as being okay to NOT fulfill them.  And that makes me feel like people only make them to break them, and if a resolution in and of itself is a pledge and promise (which it is), that's so silly to me.  

One thing I do want to do this year, just personally is to bring more life and laughter to people's lives.  So I'm starting small and simple.  I'm posting a video below that me and the MCA staff of 2007-08 made for our campus days event.  It's fun and it's silly and I hope it makes you laugh!  

The song is by The Black Eyed Peas and is called "LET'S GET IT STARTED"

So I hope you enjoy the video and find it a great way to get the year started off with a good laugh!  ENJOY!