What's Love Got To Do With It

I came across this hilarious article at msn.com today. go ahead... try to read it without laughing out loud!

And after I read it, it brought to my mind something about love. I've been really lucky to observe many awesome love relationship and many crappy love relationships. I've been able to talk to so many people in so many unique relationships and I've learned a LOT along the way. What's funny about this is that I haven't ever dated anyone...my entire life...yet. But I have so many guy friends and girl friends who will come to me for insight/advice when it comes to liking someone romantically. Being great friends equally with guys and girls has taught me a lot about the human heart and tons of other things. But I decided to take some time today and just blog out some things I've shared, and some I haven't for all those who might have questions about love love love...

First of all, let me say that I think LOVE, real LOVE is a beautiful thing. I think crushes are beautiful too, because whether it actually works out or not, you learn a LOT about yourself. You learn about what triggers your heart to love. You learn about your own selfish needs and wants, and whether they should get the merit they tend to receive. And you learn how to dream for something more than just the mundane things in life. And if it doesn't work out, you learn to not give up, to recover from a "crushed" heart, and how to evaluate what went wrong so that it can be fixed in the future.

So, on that note, here are some words of advice I have for you:

FOR BOTH GUYS AND GIRLS:
- don't expect the other person to be perfect.
- love is a give and take thing. If you're not willing to give the other person a listening ear, instead of a talking mouth, things will head south quickly.
- be aware of the things you're saying to the other person when you're not moving your mouth.
- realize you're different people and not just pod people, and move forward from there.  
- they won't notice you if you're not at least making an effort to be noticed. Most of the time, walking up and saying hi will get you 'in the door'
- take your time and enjoy the friendship/relationship
- don't spend all your time together. make sure you save time for your friends and family too!

- you don't have to copy other people's relationships. make yours unique!

- make an effort to make friends with their friends

- when showing affection in public, don't be gross.  it's possible to show love without re-enacting a dirty romance scene.  ps: dry humping in public is sick.

- being in a relationship with him/her won't solve all of your personal problems, but you can both learn from one another along the way

FOR GIRLS:
- he DOESN'T think you look fat. If he did, you wouldn't be going on your date, or be in the relationship. Stop making him answer silly questions. He thinks the world of you.

- don't wear P.J's on your first date

- he can't read your mind.  communicate.

- he's not shia lebeouf, matt damon, or any other actor you think he may need to be compared to.  love him for who he is. 

- don't throw a fit if he doesn't pick out the exact style of purse you really wanted.  The fact that he wandered into purse world is gift enough.  In this case, it REALLY is the thought that counts.

- go easy on him if he doesn't get the hint after the 3rd time that you're not interested in him.

- don't twist his words around.  If he says he's tired, he doesn't mean you're boring. He's just tired.

- if he's really not into something you're into, don't fault him.  and if he's into something you're not into, at least give it a try.  Sharing the experience with him might just make it more enjoyable- ie: sports games, art shows, concerts, etc.

- if he asks you out for coffee, don't assume he wants to marry you.  He just wants to get to know you better.

- Don't you dare talk to him about how he compares to your previous boyfriends (good or bad)

- he's not your human ATM machine.  don't make him buy you everything.

- don't pressure him if he doesn't want to go to baby or wedding showers

- give him his nights out with the fellas.  you need it just as much as he does.

- On movie dates: don't always make him watch a chick flick with you.  Alternate who gets to choose the movie. and be cool with it.

- Good Idea: smelling nice for the date.  Bad Idea: Showering in perfume for the date.

FOR GUYS:

- telling lies...even little ones= not cool. just be honest.

- don't let us boss you around all the time.  

- if your girl/friend thinks a baby is cute, don't assume she wants to have 90 of them with you the next day.  

- Good Idea: snuggling on the couch for movie night in house.  Bad Idea: EVERY date is snuggling on the couch for movie night in house.

- when we say, "I'm not interested." we mean it. sorry.

- don't fight with her parents.  they can be your biggest ally if you let them be.

- keeping ex-girlfriends numbers on your phone...so not cool

- madden 09 is not a gift we're looking forward to getting (for most girls- super sport fan girls are the exception, but make sure she is before getting it)

- if a girl is dating someone else, don't dis her boyfriend just to make yourself look good. cause it makes you look really bad.

- she's not your mom

- she's not elle mcpherson, catherine zeta jones, or any other super fine fox you might like on the big screen or magazine.  love her for who she is.

- when "Aunt Flo" comes to visit, offer chocolate.  And be brave enough to go down the Sanitary aisle for her.

- Use pick up lines sparingly.  Most of the time, saying hello is an easier approach.

- protect her, but don't be overprotective.

- don't forget she's around when the guys come over.

These are just some thoughts from me.  Things I've learned from watching other relationships.  It's not absolute.  But I just thought I'd share.  And if any of you blog readers have other advice, please leave a comment.  :D

Pigskin Road

I was in the Colorguard in High School, so we went to EVERY football game.
I grew up in Austin, TX so football is like...a religion
My entire family is in love with football...

but I'm not. :(

I know, I know...a disgrace. But really, I don't GET football. And every time I try to understand it, it just confuses me more. So, it's guys...running toward each other trying to get a pigskin football...to run across a football field...to win points...and I don't understand why. I know that my dad is probably reading this and shaking his head... hahahahaha...it's okay dad, I know how much you love it!

Last year, I went to a football game on my own accord, but I must admit, I went because I wanted to hear the band, and I wanted to see some people I knew there. I didn't pay attention to the game much at all. I know that there are some girls who LOVE football. I'm just not one of them. I don't know why. But yeah, I won't be watching the big game today. :( I hope all goes well and that too many guys don't go off the deep end if their teams don't win.

Dude Looks Like A Lady

Oh my gosh. I was checking out the MSN homepage today...and they had a feature on these Man Pantyhose called MANTYHOSE! hahahahahahahahaha!!! I seriously laughed so hard out loud!! Okay, so here's the thing...I don't even personally like wearing Pantyhose... and the thought of men wearing them...is ridiculous!! I can only imagine that the men wearing them are glutton for punishment! Apparently, they even come in a lacy pattern. Oh my goodness gracious... seriously? Look guys, I know some of you think that pantyhose are sexy on women... but when the situation is reversed...I guarantee... most of the chicks don't reciprocate that mess. hahahahahahaha!! And I know that some guys really want the support and the slim look and all the benefits of pantyhose (wait..there ARE benefits???) I think it's best to stick with skinny jeans. You know, cause at least when you trip and fall, there's no accidental peekage of the nasty guy thigh going on. I mean, if you wanna wear them, more power to ya... but if I see you in them, no lie, I'm probably gonna laugh so hard I fall down and hyperventilate. For those who want to know more, here's some info on MANTYHOSE!

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

and an article to go with:
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/28527841?gt1=43001

Close Encounters Of The Weird Kind

I think I've told a few people this story, but definitely haven't told all you other awesome blog reading friends of mine. So, a few days before I left for Austin, I had the weirdest, most awkward conversation with a guy. Now, let's set some things straight- I am totally up for dating, and would love to be in a serious relationship...but let's get real...when the guy is like 40 and he's hitting on me...it's so not sexy. In fact, it's gross. And I ALWAYS get hit on by the guys who are like, old enough to be my dad! It's soooo entirely weird! I dunno. Just weird. Oh, and then I'll tell you about another one towards the end about this one guy who really...blew his shot...at lunch one day. So funny!

*** THE COPY GUY ***

I work in the University District (U-District) in Seattle and there's a ton of local shops that I get to stop in on from time to time. One of the main ones is a Copy and Print Shop that's about a block away from where I work. I've been in a few times, and this one guy is almost always there. And when his chick co-worker isn't there, he quickly turns into a creepo. Like, one time I went in and got pictures of myself printed so I could send them to friends. Well, after he printed them, he looked at them for like 4 minutes before telling me how much I owed him. But he was like.... gawking...at the photos. and he's like, "these...are... really nice." And after picking up on the vibe, I was like, "thank you so much." and then rushed outta there. And seriously... this guy is like...in his early 40s or something...and, I can dig older guys...but NOT THAT old.

So the time I went in before I left for Austin, I was getting some tickets printed up for our big Dec. 4th event. I got in early cause I had a lot to do before I left. And so I took my thumb drive with all my files on it and took it down there. And NO ONE was in the shop except for me and my "not-so-secret admirer." So then he sits at the computer next to me and just...watches me open up the file and starts up some conversation that goes like this:

Him > So, do you work at the University?
Me > No. I work in a small office nearby.
Him > Have I seen you somewhere before?
Me > Well, I've been here in the store a couple of times. So yeah, maybe.
Him > Didn't I see you at (names a random bar) ?
Me > (with a small laugh) uh. no. No i've never been there.
Him > Oh. Well then I must have seen you at (names another random bar) .
Me > Um. No. I'm pretty sure it wasn't me. Maybe it was my twin or something.
Him > Oh. Do you...uh...not drink?
Me > No. I don't. Sorry.
Him > Oh...yeah... neither do I. No. I don't drink. Why don't you drink?
Me > Well, I've just seen the way it's destroyed my brother's life and most of my family. Nothing good ever comes of it in my experience. And I don't want to live my life the way my brother does, so... I just don't.
Him > You have very pretty hair.
Me > (awkwardly) Uh. Thanks. My dad really likes it too. (laughing in my head)
Him > So, are you from ( random neighborhood in Seattle ) ?
Me > No. I'm from (I gave him the name of the neighborhood next to mine, cause I sure as heck ain't telling him where I live).
Him > So are you originally from India?
Me > Um. No. No I"m not from India. (He is) My mom is spanish and my dad is mexican american, which is why I guess I could seem foreign. A lot of people think I'm from Brazil.
Him > Oh. Yeah. Well you're very pretty.
Me > Thanks. I uh, gotta make a quick call before I forget... (I dash to the opposite side of the store and call my mom. She talks to me for like all of 8 minutes while the guy is working on printing my stuff, and then says she has to go...THANKS, MOM.)

So when I'm done, he's got my prints ready to go. So I ask him how much I owe him, and he charges me a less than the original price since I don't have exact change. Which, I think is nice, but seriously sir... that's no way to buy my affection.

So as I'm paying, he goes, "Well...I was really trying very hard to impress you. But I guess it didn't work." and he was soooo distraught. :(

So I lied. :(

I was like, "I am so sorry. I'm really just not interested in dating right now." Okay, so it wasn't a total lie. I mean, I wasn't interested in dating HIM. Anyway, I jetted out of the store... and got halfway down the block and called up Joy and I was so confused- it was completely awkward and hilarious all at the same time.

***THE FREE BIRD***

So another case in which I just don't have luck with the guys. So one day after church, I went to eat with a bunch of friends from our college ministry. We went to (one of my favorite places EVER in Austin) FREEBIRDS to eat. So while I was in line, there was this guy who had just started coming to our church and was really starting to get to know everyone. But he was kinda....socially awkward...you could say.

While we were at FREEBIRDS, me and this guy stood in line together and were just talking about what each of us did. He was a student at UT who had also gone to college in a small texas town for another graduate program. And he just moved to Austin that summer. I told him I was on staff with Master's and that I taught students Graphic Design, Web Design and Video Production, along with teaching them book studies and being a discipleship director. Anyway, we got to the end of the line and i realized I totally accidentally left my wallet in my office at the church. So he offered to pay for me! Which, I thought was ultimately sweet...cause he TOTALLY didn't have to! So as we were getting our drinks, I thanked him and told him how grateful I was for his kind gesture. His reply?

"Oh, that's okay. You're a poor minister and I can support that"

Gee. Thanks.

I'm sure he meant that differently than it came out, so I decided to just let it slide and give him another shot. So then we're sitting there, eating our AMAZINGLY YUMMY FREEBIRD BURRITOS (yum-O) and we keep talking. He's going on and on about all the classes he's taking and how many accolades he's achieved, and how smart he is and how great of a personality he has...blah...blah...blah. (It feels weird when the person congratulates them-self more than you ever could). So then he's like, "Oh yeah. I mean, i wake up every morning and look in the mirror and I'm just so ready to dive into like a philosophy book. I just love sitting down with people and talking about philosophy with everyone all day." And I just kept nodding and smiling, the whole time thinking...oh jeeze. I could handle a couple of philosophical discussions, but not all day. :(

Then came the kicker. He looks at me and asks, "So, when are you gonna like stop working for Master's and grow up and get a real job?"

I was speechless.

I was like, "Well I"m sure there's a million and one things I could be doing right now, but for the time being, I really feel like I'm doing what I love and it is actually a real job. I actually do stuff that constitutes a real job." Pretty sure I said some harsh and sarcastic things in my mind at the time.

and he's like, "Yeah, I guess."

Then I changed the subject to something else where I didn't think he'd put his foot in his mouth. Needless to say, he wasn't a keeper either.

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So tell me guys, have you ever had an embarrassing story along the lines of relationships with the opposite sex? Do Tell!! :D