Ladies and gentlemen, please fasten your seat belts. It's about to get a little ranty up in here.
One thing that I've bragged about for the past few years is that while a lot of my friends got the "Why aren't you married with kids yet?" talk from their parents, my parents had been silent on the issue. THAT was truly something I appreciated. Until a couple of weeks ago, when I got a call in which I had to explain to one of my parents that there were actually some pretty valid reasons why I'm not married yet.
Can I just take a moment to say, as a young (yes I still consider 28 to be young) single woman, how refreshing it is not to feel any pressure to be in a relationship with someone just because it's what is expected by society? I just cannot express to you so much how freeing it's been to not have anyone in my life questioning my life choices when it comes to finding the man I want to marry. I've been able to browse all by myself, on my own terms, and develop my own shopping list when it comes to finding the guy I want to devote some quality time to? It is entirely liberating.
But then I got the call. Then I had to explain that first and foremost, the reason I'm not in a relationship is not because I don't WANT to be, but because the only people that have asked me out are 40 year-old creepy guys on the bus, who are not my type. And yes, I do have a type; and NO, my type is not the knight-in-shining armor, riding in on a white horse delivering cards, candy, and flowers covered in diamonds. But being a young, independent woman, I know who I am and what I like, and I know what I'm willing to work for in the guy department.
Getting that call did not make me want to go out and find someone around the corner to get married do, but it did make me wonder why it mattered to anyone that I am still young and single. The thing that I always come back to is: "Who said that I have to be married with kids at 28? or 29 for that matter? Who says I have to have kids right out of the gate after I get married? Who says I have to have 5 kids of my own before I can feel fulfilled as a woman? Who?" Oh, I know who (and I'm not saying it's my parents, because up until now, they had not joined that chorus). Those questions that are always on my mind kind of came to a head during that conversation. I think it was interesting for my parents to hear my point of view on the matter—that I don't answer to those who think it's my job as a woman to settle for "the next available someone that I can have kids with." I take relationships and marriage a little more serious than that.
If you were to take an outside look at my friendships, you could gather that I spend a lot of time and energy pouring into those relationships. And those are just my basic friendships. Throw intimacy and a deeper, honest friendship in the mix and I'm not just going to treat it like it's a kitten in a box on the side of the road. If I think it has value, which I do, I'm going to go into it full force with 10x the attention, care, concern, and devotion that I would a basic friendship. So (in my opinion) for people in society to think that someone who is in their younger years and not romantically attached to someone (thus giving them some semblance of "mattering" to the world around them), are somehow 'less than' or 'missing the mark,' is absolutely absurd.
I understand that there sare some people that are married who feel like everyone else around them should be married: We could do married people stuff together! We could talk about our husbands together! We could have kids at the same time and they can have playdates together and then we can talk about how my son will marry your daughter and we'll plan their whole lives for them!!! What could be more fun?
I'll tell you what could be more fun. It would be more fun if married people would let time work its magic, like it did with them. It would be more fun if married people would let love progress under its personal circumstances, like it did with them. It would be SO much fun if married people would pray for my future, and that I would make wise choices. It would be SO much fun if married people would remember the pressures they felt when walking into relationships that led them to their mates, and help me work through those when the time comes.
I believe there is power in a woman who is confident in who she is even if she not furiously planning her wedding with the person she has just moved beyond being "just friends" with. And I worry for young women who only see their worth in being attached to a man. Am I against dating someone right now, Not.At.All. In fact, I have even ventured into online dating sites because I realize that I am at a point where I'm comfortable enough with who I am that I'm open to dating. But I have to say that even if I don't find someone this weekend to go on a date with me, I'm okay. I still have plenty of life in me, and there is still PLENTY of time for me to share it with the person I'm going to marry. And I will—in due time—to someone who adds just what I need to my life, and who I'm willing to build a life together with.
But until that time, I'm not rushing into things. I believe that love is a powerful thing and I'm not afraid to learn along the way, but I'm also not just going to pass my heart out like it's a SWAG item at a convention. It will be worked for, fought for, looked after, and cared for. I'm not afraid of love, or marriage, or kids, but I AM wary of rushing past the sweet moments that will bring fullness of life in my relationships.
Showing posts with label dating. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dating. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Sunday, March 1, 2009
What's Love Got To Do With It
I came across this hilarious article at msn.com today. go ahead... try to read it without laughing out loud!
And after I read it, it brought to my mind something about love. I've been really lucky to observe many awesome love relationship and many crappy love relationships. I've been able to talk to so many people in so many unique relationships and I've learned a LOT along the way. What's funny about this is that I haven't ever dated anyone...my entire life...yet. But I have so many guy friends and girl friends who will come to me for insight/advice when it comes to liking someone romantically. Being great friends equally with guys and girls has taught me a lot about the human heart and tons of other things. But I decided to take some time today and just blog out some things I've shared, and some I haven't for all those who might have questions about love love love...
First of all, let me say that I think LOVE, real LOVE is a beautiful thing. I think crushes are beautiful too, because whether it actually works out or not, you learn a LOT about yourself. You learn about what triggers your heart to love. You learn about your own selfish needs and wants, and whether they should get the merit they tend to receive. And you learn how to dream for something more than just the mundane things in life. And if it doesn't work out, you learn to not give up, to recover from a "crushed" heart, and how to evaluate what went wrong so that it can be fixed in the future.
So, on that note, here are some words of advice I have for you:
FOR BOTH GUYS AND GIRLS:
- don't expect the other person to be perfect.
- love is a give and take thing. If you're not willing to give the other person a listening ear, instead of a talking mouth, things will head south quickly.
- be aware of the things you're saying to the other person when you're not moving your mouth.
- realize you're different people and not just pod people, and move forward from there.
- they won't notice you if you're not at least making an effort to be noticed. Most of the time, walking up and saying hi will get you 'in the door'
- take your time and enjoy the friendship/relationship
- don't spend all your time together. make sure you save time for your friends and family too!
FOR GIRLS:
- he DOESN'T think you look fat. If he did, you wouldn't be going on your date, or be in the relationship. Stop making him answer silly questions. He thinks the world of you.
FOR GUYS:
And after I read it, it brought to my mind something about love. I've been really lucky to observe many awesome love relationship and many crappy love relationships. I've been able to talk to so many people in so many unique relationships and I've learned a LOT along the way. What's funny about this is that I haven't ever dated anyone...my entire life...yet. But I have so many guy friends and girl friends who will come to me for insight/advice when it comes to liking someone romantically. Being great friends equally with guys and girls has taught me a lot about the human heart and tons of other things. But I decided to take some time today and just blog out some things I've shared, and some I haven't for all those who might have questions about love love love...
First of all, let me say that I think LOVE, real LOVE is a beautiful thing. I think crushes are beautiful too, because whether it actually works out or not, you learn a LOT about yourself. You learn about what triggers your heart to love. You learn about your own selfish needs and wants, and whether they should get the merit they tend to receive. And you learn how to dream for something more than just the mundane things in life. And if it doesn't work out, you learn to not give up, to recover from a "crushed" heart, and how to evaluate what went wrong so that it can be fixed in the future.
So, on that note, here are some words of advice I have for you:
FOR BOTH GUYS AND GIRLS:
- don't expect the other person to be perfect.
- love is a give and take thing. If you're not willing to give the other person a listening ear, instead of a talking mouth, things will head south quickly.
- be aware of the things you're saying to the other person when you're not moving your mouth.
- realize you're different people and not just pod people, and move forward from there.
- they won't notice you if you're not at least making an effort to be noticed. Most of the time, walking up and saying hi will get you 'in the door'
- take your time and enjoy the friendship/relationship
- don't spend all your time together. make sure you save time for your friends and family too!
- you don't have to copy other people's relationships. make yours unique!
- make an effort to make friends with their friends
- when showing affection in public, don't be gross. it's possible to show love without re-enacting a dirty romance scene. ps: dry humping in public is sick.
- being in a relationship with him/her won't solve all of your personal problems, but you can both learn from one another along the way
FOR GIRLS:
- he DOESN'T think you look fat. If he did, you wouldn't be going on your date, or be in the relationship. Stop making him answer silly questions. He thinks the world of you.
- don't wear P.J's on your first date
- he can't read your mind. communicate.
- he's not shia lebeouf, matt damon, or any other actor you think he may need to be compared to. love him for who he is.
- don't throw a fit if he doesn't pick out the exact style of purse you really wanted. The fact that he wandered into purse world is gift enough. In this case, it REALLY is the thought that counts.
- go easy on him if he doesn't get the hint after the 3rd time that you're not interested in him.
- don't twist his words around. If he says he's tired, he doesn't mean you're boring. He's just tired.
- if he's really not into something you're into, don't fault him. and if he's into something you're not into, at least give it a try. Sharing the experience with him might just make it more enjoyable- ie: sports games, art shows, concerts, etc.
- if he asks you out for coffee, don't assume he wants to marry you. He just wants to get to know you better.
- Don't you dare talk to him about how he compares to your previous boyfriends (good or bad)
- he's not your human ATM machine. don't make him buy you everything.
- don't pressure him if he doesn't want to go to baby or wedding showers
- give him his nights out with the fellas. you need it just as much as he does.
- On movie dates: don't always make him watch a chick flick with you. Alternate who gets to choose the movie. and be cool with it.
- Good Idea: smelling nice for the date. Bad Idea: Showering in perfume for the date.
FOR GUYS:
- telling lies...even little ones= not cool. just be honest.
- don't let us boss you around all the time.
- if your girl/friend thinks a baby is cute, don't assume she wants to have 90 of them with you the next day.
- Good Idea: snuggling on the couch for movie night in house. Bad Idea: EVERY date is snuggling on the couch for movie night in house.
- when we say, "I'm not interested." we mean it. sorry.
- don't fight with her parents. they can be your biggest ally if you let them be.
- keeping ex-girlfriends numbers on your phone...so not cool
- madden 09 is not a gift we're looking forward to getting (for most girls- super sport fan girls are the exception, but make sure she is before getting it)
- if a girl is dating someone else, don't dis her boyfriend just to make yourself look good. cause it makes you look really bad.
- she's not your mom
- she's not elle mcpherson, catherine zeta jones, or any other super fine fox you might like on the big screen or magazine. love her for who she is.
- when "Aunt Flo" comes to visit, offer chocolate. And be brave enough to go down the Sanitary aisle for her.
- Use pick up lines sparingly. Most of the time, saying hello is an easier approach.
- protect her, but don't be overprotective.
- don't forget she's around when the guys come over.
These are just some thoughts from me. Things I've learned from watching other relationships. It's not absolute. But I just thought I'd share. And if any of you blog readers have other advice, please leave a comment. :D
Friday, February 13, 2009
If You Asked Me To
If you asked me to come up with a "lovey dovey" playlist for Valentine's Day, this is what it would look like:
I hope you have a great Valentine's Day tomorrow. :D
I hope you have a great Valentine's Day tomorrow. :D
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Trash / Treasure
Today I did something that I have never even contemplated doing before in my entire life. I went dumpster diving for bread today. I must admit that I am very prideful when it comes to things like dumpster diving. I only did it once when I was a teenager, and it was because it was at a thrift store and there was some peer pressure involved. Well, Jason (a guy in my small group) offered to give me a ride home from Westside today and on the way, he was like, "I need to stop at the bread dumpster on the way home." So I agreed to go and the whole time I had to convince myself that it wasn't going to be completely gross.
So for those who are curious about why I would go dumpster diving for bread, let me give you some context.
There's this bakery in Fremont (neighborhood in Seattle) where they have dumpsters full of bread that they didn't sell the day before (or something like that)...so it's good bread, and it's in packaging...but you just go and pick what you want out of the dumpster. there were like 10 other people out there with us all foraging for bread! it was funny. but i don't have a new job yet and it's free...so i did it.
Since I can be a germ-aphobe about some really silly things, i just kept calling it a "bread bin" so the inner germ-aphobe wouldn't jump out of me. it wasn't unsanitary...but when i think of dumpsters...that's my first thought. but it was quite good. and i got a ton of free bread. :D
So now I don't have to worry about buying bread for the rest of the month!
Here's some pictures of the foraging:
also...another funny thing happened to me today!
I was waiting for the bus to come so I could go to church...and this guy pulls off the road, into this jiffy lube parking lot... and rolls down his window. Now, I'm standing at the bus stop in jeans and a long sleeve shirt, covered by my big black trench coat, and a knit scarf (from my best friend!) and listening to my iPod. So I see him, as I'm looking up the road for the bus to come. And he rolls down the window so I'm thinking, "Oh. He must need directions." So I walk closer to him and he tells me his name (which i don't remember) and asks me for mine. So I (reluctantly) tell him, "Amanda." And he goes, "I was just wondering if I could give you my phone number." and I'm like, "No thank you." And he goes, "Well, can I have yours?" and I'm like, "Um. No. I'm sorry. I'm not interested." And he says okay. And then pulls out of the parking lot and continues driving down the road!
Now I know a lot of you are thinking, "GOSH AMANDA! GIVE THE GUY A SHOT! HE COULD BE THE ONE!" And let me tell you...he wasn't attractive..he wasn't white (I like white guys)...and he was old...like in his upper 30s lower 40s. So..no. I don't think I missed out.
I know he wasn't attracted to my body...cause you can't see it in that trench coat.
I know he wasn't into my personality...cause he doesn't know me...and seeing someone at a bus stop doesn't give you insight into that. I could've been a psycho!
I think he was just really desperate for a Valentine's day date. :(
So for those who are curious about why I would go dumpster diving for bread, let me give you some context.
There's this bakery in Fremont (neighborhood in Seattle) where they have dumpsters full of bread that they didn't sell the day before (or something like that)...so it's good bread, and it's in packaging...but you just go and pick what you want out of the dumpster. there were like 10 other people out there with us all foraging for bread! it was funny. but i don't have a new job yet and it's free...so i did it.
Since I can be a germ-aphobe about some really silly things, i just kept calling it a "bread bin" so the inner germ-aphobe wouldn't jump out of me. it wasn't unsanitary...but when i think of dumpsters...that's my first thought. but it was quite good. and i got a ton of free bread. :D
So now I don't have to worry about buying bread for the rest of the month!
Here's some pictures of the foraging:
also...another funny thing happened to me today!
I was waiting for the bus to come so I could go to church...and this guy pulls off the road, into this jiffy lube parking lot... and rolls down his window. Now, I'm standing at the bus stop in jeans and a long sleeve shirt, covered by my big black trench coat, and a knit scarf (from my best friend!) and listening to my iPod. So I see him, as I'm looking up the road for the bus to come. And he rolls down the window so I'm thinking, "Oh. He must need directions." So I walk closer to him and he tells me his name (which i don't remember) and asks me for mine. So I (reluctantly) tell him, "Amanda." And he goes, "I was just wondering if I could give you my phone number." and I'm like, "No thank you." And he goes, "Well, can I have yours?" and I'm like, "Um. No. I'm sorry. I'm not interested." And he says okay. And then pulls out of the parking lot and continues driving down the road!
Now I know a lot of you are thinking, "GOSH AMANDA! GIVE THE GUY A SHOT! HE COULD BE THE ONE!" And let me tell you...he wasn't attractive..he wasn't white (I like white guys)...and he was old...like in his upper 30s lower 40s. So..no. I don't think I missed out.
I know he wasn't attracted to my body...cause you can't see it in that trench coat.
I know he wasn't into my personality...cause he doesn't know me...and seeing someone at a bus stop doesn't give you insight into that. I could've been a psycho!
I think he was just really desperate for a Valentine's day date. :(
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
It's Beginning To Get To Me
There are just some things in life that I don't get. I don't understand. I can't even begin to wrap my brain around it. So here are 5 things that I just don't get. I'm sure there are over a million things I just don't understand and maybe as time goes by, I'll post more on the 'ol blog. So let's start with these 5:
1. PUTTING THINGS BEFORE PEOPLE. I don't think I've ever honestly understood this. I remember when I was younger, we were living in this house and it was me, my brother, my sister, my mom and dad, and my aunt and uncle, their 4 kids, my grandma and grandpa. (crazy, i know) and one Christmas, my parents bought us tons of gifts...they were like...spreading out from the base of the tree into the wide open living room. And my aunt and uncle's family was more strapped for cash, and they watched while we all opened our gifts, but they didn't have many gifts, if any at all. But I remember feeling sad. Because I didn't think it was right for me to get so many cool new presents when the others who meant so much to me didn't. Christmas is always a tough time for me because I understand that getting 'stuff' is cool. But when getting 'stuff' means more than loving people, and sharing life with them, i just DO NOT understand. I cannot understand how it's okay to put more priority on things than we do on people. Take for instance, Black Friday...which...i think is a GIANT nightmare! People pushing and shoving and knocking others down and being so rude, just for stuff....not taking into account that the person they are pushing and shoving and knocking down is a PERSON, and not a cardboard cut out. I just...don't get it. PS: Political wars and the immaturity developed by some of it also falls in this category.
2. THE APOLOGETIX. Let's get real for just one moment. The Apologetix are ridiculous. Just. Plain. Ridiculous. Instead of trying to be the "Weird Al" of the Christian world, make your own music and make it mean something. Throwing out kitschy phrases like, "I Love Apostle Paul..." Instead of "I love Rock and Roll..." ... REALLY?? just. REALLY? Okay, here's a video of them in concert doing a parody of Weezer's "BEVERLY HILLS."
SERIOUSLY? And you're proud of your wittiness or lack thereof? even better, are you proud of your 'witness'? it doesn't take a lot of creative energy to write a parody of a song. But to attach a spiritual hanger onto it...is silly. And this is just my opinion... but really. Even Weird Al knows that he's a dork because he does parodies of songs. But here's the kicker....his are actually REALLY FUNNy...The Apologetix...not so much. One time a friend from church asked me if I wanted to go to one of their concerts. I was afraid to just bust out laughing, so i just said no thanks. But inside, I was really screaming a big "HECK TO THE NO! I'D RATHER SHOOT MY EYE OUT!" yeah. so. I'm not a fan. I don't understand. They're not cool. They're not witty. They're not "wowing" the non-believing crowd with their talent. I think they should change their name from Apologetix to Just Plain Sux.
3. TWILIGHT PSYCHO FANS. So in a moment of honesty, yeah. I will admit. I AM A TWILIGHT FAN. Whether that makes me deranged or "unholy" i don't know. But I am. That's all there is to it. I love the way the books are written. I love the way the story progresses. And I love the way it's like a twisted remake of Romeo and Juliet. Very romantic and very intense all at the same time. And it gives some great twists on stereotypes of characters and even vampires themselves. But here's the thing. There's being a fan of something, and then there's being a ridiculous maniac. I've been reading articles and watching interviews with some of the key actors and hearing the stories...it's beyond ridiculous. For instance, girls scratching their necks until they bleed...as a sign of affection for the lead actor, Robert Pattinson. SERIOUSLY girls? That's how you show love? That's how it works, eh? Yeah, I don't think so. You just come across looking desperate and well...psychotic. And then, there's this one mom who brought her baby to the set, asking the actors to bite her baby's head. REALLY? YUCK. And don't even get me started on Tyra "Pervy" Banks' show featuring Taylor Lautner and Robert. I felt so bad for Taylor. I mean, just watching his face, was so sad. And when Robert bit Tyra...SERIOUSLY...what's with the asking him to bite people?? He's not a friggin' vampire. In fact, VAMPIRES AREN'T REAL! Yeah...just...ugh. I mean, seriously. I'm a fan of the books, a fan of the movies, and definitely a fan of Robert Pattinson. But a simple letter expressing appreciation (as a dare to myself) is all I sent. I don't think I'd ever be able to look at myself in the mirror with any sense of normalcy and pride in my human worth if I did anything beyond that. yeesh.
4. YE OLDE BOOK BAN. This kinda goes along with the previous. So, being surrounded in a 'churchy' environment, I've really had to push myself to get out of the habit of reading just "Christian Inspiration" and Leadership books. Don't get me wrong, some of them are really quite good. But I love reading... and I love challenging my imagination... and I love the written word. And sometimes, I need to change things up. So I read Dante's Inferno, and Twilight, and Sybil, and some Stephen King stuff. But here's the thing, when people who run in the same 'esque circles go around judging you for what you read...it's kinda lame. pretty silly actually. I remember working this event and some random chick came up to me and was like, why is everyone in your group reading all this religious stuff? Is this a religious conference? And I'm like...um... I'm reading The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. And my friend is reading a Stephen King novel. I think that when people come up to you and judge you negatively based on what you read, it's quite silly. For instance, I recently started reading Dante's Purgatorio. Does that mean that my religion is messed up cause now I believe in Purgatory? No. It simply means I like poetry and I like Dante's imaginative thinking. If I read a Harry Potter book, am I going to start casting spells on people? No. That's silly. If I read Sybil, am I saying I experience Schizophrenia? No. I just want to learn more about Psychological stuff. I don't think it's right to say that one person is or is not spiritual based on what they read. Books are made to expand your imagination, to challenge your mind to gain more knowledge, and to give us a deeper appreciation of the English language. Again, sometimes I just don't get what the big deal is.
5. MY OWN PERSONAL MATCHMAKERS. This is a biggie for me. Here's the thing. I DO want to get married. I don't want other people to do my "shopping" for me. I'm highly capable of exploring the world of guy-dom without the help of others. I get really frustrated when married people, especially, feel like I have to be married to be fulfilled. Look, I know marriage is awesome! I look forward to it! But here's the thing...I want to go about it on my own terms. I don't need people picking out who they think is "PERFECT" for me, because honestly, a lot of the suggestions I've gotten, couldn't be further from what I find PERFECT in a possible husband. Oh, and especially when you offer to "work on them" for me. Seriously? No thanks. I don't want someone to "work on" my future husband. Chances are, I think he's pretty awesome WITHOUT your help. You know what I do LOVE? The fact that I am blessed with a best friend, who is married, and still doesn't feel the need to play matchmaker for me. You know what she does? She listens when I tell her I'm worried I might make a bad choice about a certain someone. She prays for me that I wouldn't "settle" for just any joe schmo simply because society or my own hormones say I just NEED someone for the time being. I LOVE THAT! I must say, though, that my favorite is when my own mom tries to get me interested in guys and she's like, "Well what about so and so?" And I'm like, "You mean Ramon's (my bro) friend ______?" And she's like, "Yeah, he's a nice guy" and I'm like, "Yeah, I'm sure he is, when he's not being a boozie crack dealer. No thanks. I prefer someone who doesn't live life in a haze of dope dealing and crack smoking." So here's the thing, leave the shopping to me and "Big guns upstairs." We got this.
Okay, that's all the ranting for today. :D Hope I made you laugh...smile...pee your pants...or just think about things differently. laters!
1. PUTTING THINGS BEFORE PEOPLE. I don't think I've ever honestly understood this. I remember when I was younger, we were living in this house and it was me, my brother, my sister, my mom and dad, and my aunt and uncle, their 4 kids, my grandma and grandpa. (crazy, i know) and one Christmas, my parents bought us tons of gifts...they were like...spreading out from the base of the tree into the wide open living room. And my aunt and uncle's family was more strapped for cash, and they watched while we all opened our gifts, but they didn't have many gifts, if any at all. But I remember feeling sad. Because I didn't think it was right for me to get so many cool new presents when the others who meant so much to me didn't. Christmas is always a tough time for me because I understand that getting 'stuff' is cool. But when getting 'stuff' means more than loving people, and sharing life with them, i just DO NOT understand. I cannot understand how it's okay to put more priority on things than we do on people. Take for instance, Black Friday...which...i think is a GIANT nightmare! People pushing and shoving and knocking others down and being so rude, just for stuff....not taking into account that the person they are pushing and shoving and knocking down is a PERSON, and not a cardboard cut out. I just...don't get it. PS: Political wars and the immaturity developed by some of it also falls in this category.
2. THE APOLOGETIX. Let's get real for just one moment. The Apologetix are ridiculous. Just. Plain. Ridiculous. Instead of trying to be the "Weird Al" of the Christian world, make your own music and make it mean something. Throwing out kitschy phrases like, "I Love Apostle Paul..." Instead of "I love Rock and Roll..." ... REALLY?? just. REALLY? Okay, here's a video of them in concert doing a parody of Weezer's "BEVERLY HILLS."
SERIOUSLY? And you're proud of your wittiness or lack thereof? even better, are you proud of your 'witness'? it doesn't take a lot of creative energy to write a parody of a song. But to attach a spiritual hanger onto it...is silly. And this is just my opinion... but really. Even Weird Al knows that he's a dork because he does parodies of songs. But here's the kicker....his are actually REALLY FUNNy...The Apologetix...not so much. One time a friend from church asked me if I wanted to go to one of their concerts. I was afraid to just bust out laughing, so i just said no thanks. But inside, I was really screaming a big "HECK TO THE NO! I'D RATHER SHOOT MY EYE OUT!" yeah. so. I'm not a fan. I don't understand. They're not cool. They're not witty. They're not "wowing" the non-believing crowd with their talent. I think they should change their name from Apologetix to Just Plain Sux.
3. TWILIGHT PSYCHO FANS. So in a moment of honesty, yeah. I will admit. I AM A TWILIGHT FAN. Whether that makes me deranged or "unholy" i don't know. But I am. That's all there is to it. I love the way the books are written. I love the way the story progresses. And I love the way it's like a twisted remake of Romeo and Juliet. Very romantic and very intense all at the same time. And it gives some great twists on stereotypes of characters and even vampires themselves. But here's the thing. There's being a fan of something, and then there's being a ridiculous maniac. I've been reading articles and watching interviews with some of the key actors and hearing the stories...it's beyond ridiculous. For instance, girls scratching their necks until they bleed...as a sign of affection for the lead actor, Robert Pattinson. SERIOUSLY girls? That's how you show love? That's how it works, eh? Yeah, I don't think so. You just come across looking desperate and well...psychotic. And then, there's this one mom who brought her baby to the set, asking the actors to bite her baby's head. REALLY? YUCK. And don't even get me started on Tyra "Pervy" Banks' show featuring Taylor Lautner and Robert. I felt so bad for Taylor. I mean, just watching his face, was so sad. And when Robert bit Tyra...SERIOUSLY...what's with the asking him to bite people?? He's not a friggin' vampire. In fact, VAMPIRES AREN'T REAL! Yeah...just...ugh. I mean, seriously. I'm a fan of the books, a fan of the movies, and definitely a fan of Robert Pattinson. But a simple letter expressing appreciation (as a dare to myself) is all I sent. I don't think I'd ever be able to look at myself in the mirror with any sense of normalcy and pride in my human worth if I did anything beyond that. yeesh.
4. YE OLDE BOOK BAN. This kinda goes along with the previous. So, being surrounded in a 'churchy' environment, I've really had to push myself to get out of the habit of reading just "Christian Inspiration" and Leadership books. Don't get me wrong, some of them are really quite good. But I love reading... and I love challenging my imagination... and I love the written word. And sometimes, I need to change things up. So I read Dante's Inferno, and Twilight, and Sybil, and some Stephen King stuff. But here's the thing, when people who run in the same 'esque circles go around judging you for what you read...it's kinda lame. pretty silly actually. I remember working this event and some random chick came up to me and was like, why is everyone in your group reading all this religious stuff? Is this a religious conference? And I'm like...um... I'm reading The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. And my friend is reading a Stephen King novel. I think that when people come up to you and judge you negatively based on what you read, it's quite silly. For instance, I recently started reading Dante's Purgatorio. Does that mean that my religion is messed up cause now I believe in Purgatory? No. It simply means I like poetry and I like Dante's imaginative thinking. If I read a Harry Potter book, am I going to start casting spells on people? No. That's silly. If I read Sybil, am I saying I experience Schizophrenia? No. I just want to learn more about Psychological stuff. I don't think it's right to say that one person is or is not spiritual based on what they read. Books are made to expand your imagination, to challenge your mind to gain more knowledge, and to give us a deeper appreciation of the English language. Again, sometimes I just don't get what the big deal is.
5. MY OWN PERSONAL MATCHMAKERS. This is a biggie for me. Here's the thing. I DO want to get married. I don't want other people to do my "shopping" for me. I'm highly capable of exploring the world of guy-dom without the help of others. I get really frustrated when married people, especially, feel like I have to be married to be fulfilled. Look, I know marriage is awesome! I look forward to it! But here's the thing...I want to go about it on my own terms. I don't need people picking out who they think is "PERFECT" for me, because honestly, a lot of the suggestions I've gotten, couldn't be further from what I find PERFECT in a possible husband. Oh, and especially when you offer to "work on them" for me. Seriously? No thanks. I don't want someone to "work on" my future husband. Chances are, I think he's pretty awesome WITHOUT your help. You know what I do LOVE? The fact that I am blessed with a best friend, who is married, and still doesn't feel the need to play matchmaker for me. You know what she does? She listens when I tell her I'm worried I might make a bad choice about a certain someone. She prays for me that I wouldn't "settle" for just any joe schmo simply because society or my own hormones say I just NEED someone for the time being. I LOVE THAT! I must say, though, that my favorite is when my own mom tries to get me interested in guys and she's like, "Well what about so and so?" And I'm like, "You mean Ramon's (my bro) friend ______?" And she's like, "Yeah, he's a nice guy" and I'm like, "Yeah, I'm sure he is, when he's not being a boozie crack dealer. No thanks. I prefer someone who doesn't live life in a haze of dope dealing and crack smoking." So here's the thing, leave the shopping to me and "Big guns upstairs." We got this.
Okay, that's all the ranting for today. :D Hope I made you laugh...smile...pee your pants...or just think about things differently. laters!
Friday, December 19, 2008
Close Encounters Of The Weird Kind
I think I've told a few people this story, but definitely haven't told all you other awesome blog reading friends of mine. So, a few days before I left for Austin, I had the weirdest, most awkward conversation with a guy. Now, let's set some things straight- I am totally up for dating, and would love to be in a serious relationship...but let's get real...when the guy is like 40 and he's hitting on me...it's so not sexy. In fact, it's gross. And I ALWAYS get hit on by the guys who are like, old enough to be my dad! It's soooo entirely weird! I dunno. Just weird. Oh, and then I'll tell you about another one towards the end about this one guy who really...blew his shot...at lunch one day. So funny!
*** THE COPY GUY ***
I work in the University District (U-District) in Seattle and there's a ton of local shops that I get to stop in on from time to time. One of the main ones is a Copy and Print Shop that's about a block away from where I work. I've been in a few times, and this one guy is almost always there. And when his chick co-worker isn't there, he quickly turns into a creepo. Like, one time I went in and got pictures of myself printed so I could send them to friends. Well, after he printed them, he looked at them for like 4 minutes before telling me how much I owed him. But he was like.... gawking...at the photos. and he's like, "these...are... really nice." And after picking up on the vibe, I was like, "thank you so much." and then rushed outta there. And seriously... this guy is like...in his early 40s or something...and, I can dig older guys...but NOT THAT old.
So the time I went in before I left for Austin, I was getting some tickets printed up for our big Dec. 4th event. I got in early cause I had a lot to do before I left. And so I took my thumb drive with all my files on it and took it down there. And NO ONE was in the shop except for me and my "not-so-secret admirer." So then he sits at the computer next to me and just...watches me open up the file and starts up some conversation that goes like this:
Him > So, do you work at the University?
Me > No. I work in a small office nearby.
Him > Have I seen you somewhere before?
Me > Well, I've been here in the store a couple of times. So yeah, maybe.
Him > Didn't I see you at (names a random bar) ?
Me > (with a small laugh) uh. no. No i've never been there.
Him > Oh. Well then I must have seen you at (names another random bar) .
Me > Um. No. I'm pretty sure it wasn't me. Maybe it was my twin or something.
Him > Oh. Do you...uh...not drink?
Me > No. I don't. Sorry.
Him > Oh...yeah... neither do I. No. I don't drink. Why don't you drink?
Me > Well, I've just seen the way it's destroyed my brother's life and most of my family. Nothing good ever comes of it in my experience. And I don't want to live my life the way my brother does, so... I just don't.
Him > You have very pretty hair.
Me > (awkwardly) Uh. Thanks. My dad really likes it too. (laughing in my head)
Him > So, are you from ( random neighborhood in Seattle ) ?
Me > No. I'm from (I gave him the name of the neighborhood next to mine, cause I sure as heck ain't telling him where I live).
Him > So are you originally from India?
Me > Um. No. No I"m not from India. (He is) My mom is spanish and my dad is mexican american, which is why I guess I could seem foreign. A lot of people think I'm from Brazil.
Him > Oh. Yeah. Well you're very pretty.
Me > Thanks. I uh, gotta make a quick call before I forget... (I dash to the opposite side of the store and call my mom. She talks to me for like all of 8 minutes while the guy is working on printing my stuff, and then says she has to go...THANKS, MOM.)
So when I'm done, he's got my prints ready to go. So I ask him how much I owe him, and he charges me a less than the original price since I don't have exact change. Which, I think is nice, but seriously sir... that's no way to buy my affection.
So as I'm paying, he goes, "Well...I was really trying very hard to impress you. But I guess it didn't work." and he was soooo distraught. :(
So I lied. :(
I was like, "I am so sorry. I'm really just not interested in dating right now." Okay, so it wasn't a total lie. I mean, I wasn't interested in dating HIM. Anyway, I jetted out of the store... and got halfway down the block and called up Joy and I was so confused- it was completely awkward and hilarious all at the same time.
***THE FREE BIRD***
So another case in which I just don't have luck with the guys. So one day after church, I went to eat with a bunch of friends from our college ministry. We went to (one of my favorite places EVER in Austin) FREEBIRDS to eat. So while I was in line, there was this guy who had just started coming to our church and was really starting to get to know everyone. But he was kinda....socially awkward...you could say.
While we were at FREEBIRDS, me and this guy stood in line together and were just talking about what each of us did. He was a student at UT who had also gone to college in a small texas town for another graduate program. And he just moved to Austin that summer. I told him I was on staff with Master's and that I taught students Graphic Design, Web Design and Video Production, along with teaching them book studies and being a discipleship director. Anyway, we got to the end of the line and i realized I totally accidentally left my wallet in my office at the church. So he offered to pay for me! Which, I thought was ultimately sweet...cause he TOTALLY didn't have to! So as we were getting our drinks, I thanked him and told him how grateful I was for his kind gesture. His reply?
"Oh, that's okay. You're a poor minister and I can support that"
Gee. Thanks.
I'm sure he meant that differently than it came out, so I decided to just let it slide and give him another shot. So then we're sitting there, eating our AMAZINGLY YUMMY FREEBIRD BURRITOS (yum-O) and we keep talking. He's going on and on about all the classes he's taking and how many accolades he's achieved, and how smart he is and how great of a personality he has...blah...blah...blah. (It feels weird when the person congratulates them-self more than you ever could). So then he's like, "Oh yeah. I mean, i wake up every morning and look in the mirror and I'm just so ready to dive into like a philosophy book. I just love sitting down with people and talking about philosophy with everyone all day." And I just kept nodding and smiling, the whole time thinking...oh jeeze. I could handle a couple of philosophical discussions, but not all day. :(
Then came the kicker. He looks at me and asks, "So, when are you gonna like stop working for Master's and grow up and get a real job?"
I was speechless.
I was like, "Well I"m sure there's a million and one things I could be doing right now, but for the time being, I really feel like I'm doing what I love and it is actually a real job. I actually do stuff that constitutes a real job." Pretty sure I said some harsh and sarcastic things in my mind at the time.
and he's like, "Yeah, I guess."
Then I changed the subject to something else where I didn't think he'd put his foot in his mouth. Needless to say, he wasn't a keeper either.
**********************************************
So tell me guys, have you ever had an embarrassing story along the lines of relationships with the opposite sex? Do Tell!! :D
*** THE COPY GUY ***
I work in the University District (U-District) in Seattle and there's a ton of local shops that I get to stop in on from time to time. One of the main ones is a Copy and Print Shop that's about a block away from where I work. I've been in a few times, and this one guy is almost always there. And when his chick co-worker isn't there, he quickly turns into a creepo. Like, one time I went in and got pictures of myself printed so I could send them to friends. Well, after he printed them, he looked at them for like 4 minutes before telling me how much I owed him. But he was like.... gawking...at the photos. and he's like, "these...are... really nice." And after picking up on the vibe, I was like, "thank you so much." and then rushed outta there. And seriously... this guy is like...in his early 40s or something...and, I can dig older guys...but NOT THAT old.
So the time I went in before I left for Austin, I was getting some tickets printed up for our big Dec. 4th event. I got in early cause I had a lot to do before I left. And so I took my thumb drive with all my files on it and took it down there. And NO ONE was in the shop except for me and my "not-so-secret admirer." So then he sits at the computer next to me and just...watches me open up the file and starts up some conversation that goes like this:
Him > So, do you work at the University?
Me > No. I work in a small office nearby.
Him > Have I seen you somewhere before?
Me > Well, I've been here in the store a couple of times. So yeah, maybe.
Him > Didn't I see you at (names a random bar) ?
Me > (with a small laugh) uh. no. No i've never been there.
Him > Oh. Well then I must have seen you at (names another random bar) .
Me > Um. No. I'm pretty sure it wasn't me. Maybe it was my twin or something.
Him > Oh. Do you...uh...not drink?
Me > No. I don't. Sorry.
Him > Oh...yeah... neither do I. No. I don't drink. Why don't you drink?
Me > Well, I've just seen the way it's destroyed my brother's life and most of my family. Nothing good ever comes of it in my experience. And I don't want to live my life the way my brother does, so... I just don't.
Him > You have very pretty hair.
Me > (awkwardly) Uh. Thanks. My dad really likes it too. (laughing in my head)
Him > So, are you from ( random neighborhood in Seattle ) ?
Me > No. I'm from (I gave him the name of the neighborhood next to mine, cause I sure as heck ain't telling him where I live).
Him > So are you originally from India?
Me > Um. No. No I"m not from India. (He is) My mom is spanish and my dad is mexican american, which is why I guess I could seem foreign. A lot of people think I'm from Brazil.
Him > Oh. Yeah. Well you're very pretty.
Me > Thanks. I uh, gotta make a quick call before I forget... (I dash to the opposite side of the store and call my mom. She talks to me for like all of 8 minutes while the guy is working on printing my stuff, and then says she has to go...THANKS, MOM.)
So when I'm done, he's got my prints ready to go. So I ask him how much I owe him, and he charges me a less than the original price since I don't have exact change. Which, I think is nice, but seriously sir... that's no way to buy my affection.
So as I'm paying, he goes, "Well...I was really trying very hard to impress you. But I guess it didn't work." and he was soooo distraught. :(
So I lied. :(
I was like, "I am so sorry. I'm really just not interested in dating right now." Okay, so it wasn't a total lie. I mean, I wasn't interested in dating HIM. Anyway, I jetted out of the store... and got halfway down the block and called up Joy and I was so confused- it was completely awkward and hilarious all at the same time.
***THE FREE BIRD***
So another case in which I just don't have luck with the guys. So one day after church, I went to eat with a bunch of friends from our college ministry. We went to (one of my favorite places EVER in Austin) FREEBIRDS to eat. So while I was in line, there was this guy who had just started coming to our church and was really starting to get to know everyone. But he was kinda....socially awkward...you could say.
While we were at FREEBIRDS, me and this guy stood in line together and were just talking about what each of us did. He was a student at UT who had also gone to college in a small texas town for another graduate program. And he just moved to Austin that summer. I told him I was on staff with Master's and that I taught students Graphic Design, Web Design and Video Production, along with teaching them book studies and being a discipleship director. Anyway, we got to the end of the line and i realized I totally accidentally left my wallet in my office at the church. So he offered to pay for me! Which, I thought was ultimately sweet...cause he TOTALLY didn't have to! So as we were getting our drinks, I thanked him and told him how grateful I was for his kind gesture. His reply?
"Oh, that's okay. You're a poor minister and I can support that"
Gee. Thanks.
I'm sure he meant that differently than it came out, so I decided to just let it slide and give him another shot. So then we're sitting there, eating our AMAZINGLY YUMMY FREEBIRD BURRITOS (yum-O) and we keep talking. He's going on and on about all the classes he's taking and how many accolades he's achieved, and how smart he is and how great of a personality he has...blah...blah...blah. (It feels weird when the person congratulates them-self more than you ever could). So then he's like, "Oh yeah. I mean, i wake up every morning and look in the mirror and I'm just so ready to dive into like a philosophy book. I just love sitting down with people and talking about philosophy with everyone all day." And I just kept nodding and smiling, the whole time thinking...oh jeeze. I could handle a couple of philosophical discussions, but not all day. :(
Then came the kicker. He looks at me and asks, "So, when are you gonna like stop working for Master's and grow up and get a real job?"
I was speechless.
I was like, "Well I"m sure there's a million and one things I could be doing right now, but for the time being, I really feel like I'm doing what I love and it is actually a real job. I actually do stuff that constitutes a real job." Pretty sure I said some harsh and sarcastic things in my mind at the time.
and he's like, "Yeah, I guess."
Then I changed the subject to something else where I didn't think he'd put his foot in his mouth. Needless to say, he wasn't a keeper either.
**********************************************
So tell me guys, have you ever had an embarrassing story along the lines of relationships with the opposite sex? Do Tell!! :D
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