Sunday, January 25, 2009

The Pieces Don't Fit Anymore

I think it's safe to say that I've reached a point where the pieces don't fit anymore. You know, that moment when you've resolved to chasing your dream and you're so in love with where your life is at, that the thought of returning is just too outrageous. I have loved visiting people here in Austin, but with 4 days left, I can't help but feel this anxiousness to get back to Seattle. I can't wait to see Jessica and Joseph and Jesselyn and Christiaan and Pastor J. and Deb and Amanda and Corbett and everyone!

I remember when I was leaving, I was so nervous, so many thoughts about whether I would survive away from it all, and what my life would look like when I came back to visit. But coming back, I realize that I have to be where I'm at. Because the pieces of my world here don't fit in my life anymore. Things have changed, people have come and gone, things are moving on, and I get to be a smaller distant part of it, and that's what I need. :D I get to see all the awesome things going on, and I get to go back to what I will call home for a really long time. :D

I am finally beginning to realize the beauty in change. The freedom in chasing a dream, and seeing it come to life. It's so amazing! And I am truly blessed to have all the people in Austin who have helped me get to the place where I am now! They made so many things possible. And I'm so glad that the pieces in Seattle do fit so perfectly!

So for all my Austin friends, I hope I get to see you guys before I leave and that you guys continue to grow and grow and grow...

and to all my Seattle friends, I'm coming home soon! I miss you much and I can't wait to see you all and hug you!

and to my family: thanks for being so awesome! I will see you again in June/July! And someday, I hope you guys will ALL understand why I need to be in Seattle and that I love you so much despite the distance! :D

Amo- out! :D


Lana said...

I feel the same way as you wrote in this blog. Recently we moved here to midland, tx a few years ago to be childrens pastors. At first i was like how in the world am i going to survive? I have lived in austin, tx for my hole life and now I am going to a place with no family or friends! I knew midland, tx was the place where we were supposed to be and God told me that he would provide everything thing we needed--friends, finances, etc. So, after being here for two years I just dont know if i could ever move back to austin. I would just miss this place too much. I have made so many good friends here! Whenever i do go back to austin, its just not the same. Old friends have moved and new people have come in. Everything has changed there at the church(GT). And also when im there in just feels weird--like its not my home anymore. Everytime i go there i am so anxious to get back to everyone here in midland. I still get homesick for austin some because thats where my family is at, but just after a few days being there im so ready to come back to my "new home". Whatever God said he would provide he has and then some! Anyways, sorry for the rambling there, but those were some of my random thoughts.

amo said...

i totally agree! He has just been so ridiculously faithful! Thank you so much for sharing!! It's good to feel that encouragement! :D