Miss California

I'm gonna take you to my boxcar on the beach
I'm gonna hang the sun above your bed
and soak your hair in bleach
You'll be missed, Miss California
You'll be kissed by only me
When they can't find you
You'll turn into a mystery
but you're no mystery to me

I call on Jesus but he heard I hurt his little girl
Yeah with my reckless stare
I've been so unfair misplacing my affections
She had a reason not to take me back into her care
Oh I'm just a stray dog now
I can't beg or bow
Just give me some direction

- Miss California by Jack's Mannequin

I got to hang out with some great women last night and talk about love and marriage (goes together like a horse and carriage). Coming from a broken home, I find that I have "every right" to not believe in love, to not believe that marriage can work, but it's just not the case for me. I'm not sure if it's just my natural defiance, but I have the biggest hopes for the success of marriage. I believe it IS possible for two people to journey through life together, with all of its ups and downs and work together to make their love and life worthwhile. I consider myself lucky to be surrounded by amazing men and women who remind me that it IS in fact, still possible and worth it all.

One thing we talked about was the dynamic of bringing two sets of everyday life and emotions into the mix. For instance, how the course of one person's day may be contrary to the other person's day, but when you come home, you bring your day with you and all the emotions associated with it. There can easily be a disconnect—that point when you want to shut down and just go home, not say anything, just walk around like a drone, and call it a night—instead of spending quality time with your husband or wife.

Admittedly, it's harder for women to disconnect from the day, and thus, we have the greater tendency to "not want to talk about it," or give up because "you just wouldn't understand" what we went through that day, and we can just go through daily motions to make it through another day. Oh the joys of (in general) being more emotional than our male counterparts.

One really tangible challenge I walked away with was from a story that one of the women shared. It was a story about a guy who would always carry a tape recorder with him, and on his way home, he would record himself talking to the recorder about all the burdens and junky stuff that happened during the day. He would then pull into his driveway, and before walking in the door, would erase the tape. He would get all the junk and stuff out of his mind, and was then able to walk in the door, ready to focus on his wife and family, not burdened by the weight of mundane life. I realize there must be a balance of talking about life with the love of your life, but some things really CAN get in the way—even in platonic relationships.

When I'm reminded how much power the words I speak and the attitudes I adopt affect my relationships, it wakes me up to the realization that I can change things and I can make everyday life a bit easier. I notice that when I get home to my housemates, I face the same dilemma: I've had a long day and I'm SO ready to just disconnect and go to my room and check e-mail and all my various social networking sites. And then I remember the times when we get together as housemates and how much fun we have just talking together and doing random silly stuff. These housemates of mine are my friends, and I get to see them every day, which may be why it's so easy to take them for granted. But they matter, and I realize I need to train myself to change some of my habits to devote time to them, and my other friends. If anything, it'll be good practice, and as I've heard a thousand times, "PRACTICE MAKES PERMANENT." There is a balance, and now I'm reminded to challenge myself to find it and live in it.

The Little Things You Give Away

I don't think I've done this in a while, but for today's post, I'm going to link to another blog post that I think is worth reading. Here are things it will do for you (with a 95% GUARANTEE):

1. Make you smile.
2. Make you cry.
3. Make you think about the people in your life that mean the most to you.
4. Make your heart hurt.
5. Put you in the writer's "shoes" so to speak—it's very well written
6. Make you cry some more.
7. Make you realize the beauty of life
8. Make you realize that sometimes the best blessings look different than we planned.
9. Make you smile some more.
10. Make you want to share love with someone in need.

(thanks to Kelley for the link)

CLICK HERE IF YOU DARE

Whatcha Say

Great news! I got to borrow Gina's guitar to record 2 new songs! Well, one is old but I recorded it for the first time. The other is a new one that I'm actually going to re-record because it didn't turn out quite the way I wanted it to, but I'll post it eventually. :D

After posting about singing Mayday for my co-workers at our office holiday party, (see here) a handful of friends and family have asked to hear it. So, I figured I would oblige and post it here today.

Again, I'm NOT a singer, just a writer, but it's very therapeutic for me to share these songs that I've written with you, my readers :D

I hope it speaks to you in some way.

MAYDAY

Chorus:
Mayday. Mayday.
You say Everyone's as comfortable as you
But baby
Someday
You'll see that tomorrow is up to you

Fingers on the smoking gun
Everyone is trying to run
Away
Let the rhythm take control
Take you to a place where you know
There's a star, a ray of hope
and everyone's the same

Chorus

Laser lights and telegrams
Try to define who I am
Alright. Alright.
Let the damage take it's toll
Move beyond and then you know
There's a goal, a common thread
and everyone's alive

The tracks for trains racing away
They call you melancholy
But every day is a brand new way
and your chance to sway and

Chorus

Tomorrow's up to you
And you know just what to do.

The New Year

I had a great time ending the past year with my friends and family :D It was so awesome to get to see most everyone and catch up and share some funny stories and memories. It was also really good to get to see my brother and sister. We've never been super duper close, but we love each other so much and when we get together, it's nothing but laughs!

I'm looking forward to a lot of great things this upcoming year, but mostly, I'm looking forward to my High School Reunion. It's been 10 years since I graduated from McCallum High School. Crazy business! What's really interesting is that since I've been out of High School, the people I talk to the least is the ones I went to Middle and High School with. I can't explain why . . . i guess distance really does make a difference. I mean, after High School, I kinda walked away from it all and grew up a bit. Don't get me wrong- i TOTALLY don't feel like I've been out of High School for 10 years . . . I mean, I still feel like I'm 20. I feel so young and free. What's funny to me is that the thought of going to my High School Reunion is like this big crazy event where I want to know ridiculous things- like, who in my High School is a fan of Twilight and who still remembers Ms. Nauert and how out of her mind she was?

As I thought about this reunion, the one thing that stood out the most was that I spent 4 years of my life trying to figure out where exactly I fit in at my school and NOW, I am COMPLETELY comfortable knowing that I don't fit in and I don't HAVE to. I am me. I'm perfectly me and that's okay. I guess it took me the 10 years after High School to get that, but I got it. ;)

I was talking to a friend of mine from High School while I was home on break and apparently, our Valedictorian died (?!? who knew ?!?) and no one is really taking the reigns on planning anything currently. And apparently, little groups have already had their own little reunions? Like all the latinos got together and had a small reunion . . . and where was my invite for that? Who knows. And all the white kids got together and had a small reunion . . . and where was my invite for that? jk. But seriously. I guess if no one does anything for our High School, I'll try to plan a little somethin' something for my circle of friends. It'll be lame cause I won't get to see where all my other classmates have ended up thus far, but really . . . whaddayado?

I Know Where I've Been

This has been my FIRST full year living in Seattle!

I wanted to take a moment to reflect on some amazing things that have happened in my life this past year. I decided to give a month-by-month illustration of some highlights of the year. There were seriously SO many things that happened, but I could only choose one per month. So, without further adieu . . . cue the indian:

I'm seriously so excited for all the awesome things in store for the next year!

Last Train To Clarksville

Alrighty folks!

It's time for me to officially hit the road! That's right, it's me, all this stuff, and a bunch of Cliff Bars and Yogurt Granola Bars heading to the ATX on the Greyhound over the next 3 days!! Whee!

Look at all the stuff I'm bringing with me to keep me occupied on the bus:



My first stop is in Billings, Montana. From there, I hop on over to Denver, Colorado. Then, I'll get to have a long layover in Dallas, Texas—Chad and Katie are meeting me there and we're gonna get to hang! The coffee and laughs will be flowing! And from there, I head on to Cedar Park/Round Rock where my dad will meet me at the station and I'll finally be HOME SWEET HOME!! I'm soooo looking forward to hugging all my friends & family! :D I miss them a lot!

I've seriously got to find a way to make 3 trips home per year, instead of 2 . . . but we'll see how that all pans out. One of the first things I'll probably do, aside from tackling my family with GIANT hugs, is to eat my weight in Chick-Fil-A! Just kidding, but that WILL be my first meal! :D Oh sweet sweet #1 with Large fries and a Sweet Tea and some honey mustard sauce, how I have missed you!

Between here and there, my tweeting and facebooking will be minimal because

1. there are no outlets on the busses and i they don't guarantee power stations to charge electronics.

2. i need to take some time to take a step back and disconnect for a bit. This trip home will be a great time for me to reflect on life and to dream new dreams :D

So I'll have my phone off while I'm on the bus, but I'll turn it on when I get to each station. If you NEED to get a hold of me, you can text me or Twitter DM me or email me and I'll get back to you faster :D

In the meantime, pray that it's a good, safe trip for me!! :D

In Your Atmosphere

Yesterday was PRETTY hectic, but the joy of knowing it's (1) SATURDAY! and (2) only 1 more day before I make the trip home on el greyhound made it all worthwhile :D

In other GREAT news, yesterday I was on Twitter and I discovered that Rudy's BBQ (my hometown favorite BBQ joint) was having a contest to see who could make up the best 140 character or less tweet of a holiday rhythm mentioning @rudysbbq. And i WON!!

I won a $25 gift card to Rudy's BBQ! :D

That's like, one of the most amazing presents ever! Especially since I leave tomorrow night to make my way to Austin, the land flowing with Rudy's BBQ, Chick-Fil-A and Chuy's! :D I love Texas food!

The good thing is that my time at home will be a healthy length of time (8 days) and I'll get to spend one full day of quality time with Vanessa and I'll get to have some down time to just slow down, before I head back home, to this BEAUTIFUL city I also love!

Yesterday I was riding the bus and I was looking out at the water and then at the city buildings and all the people swarming around the streets and hanging out in Westlake Plaza, riding the carousel and enjoying hot chocolate and it just reminded me how wonderful and diverse and fun Seattle is! I'm definitely going to miss Seattle when I'm at home, but knowing that I have lived here for a year and a half and that I'm still so madly in love with this city is very comforting, and will help balance out the times I will miss it.

Tonight is all about cleaning and packing and then tomorrow is picking up last minute gifts.

I watched Inglorious Basterds again last night (LOVE that movie!) and it made me want to learn German and French more! So much so, that I might pick up a phrase book while I'm at Barnes and Noble tomorrow! We shall see . . . in the meantime, here are some photos I've taken as of late:

shoppers at Pacific Place Mall downtown

I'm afraid to try them . . .

Going up the escalator at Convention Place Bus Station

One might wonder what's so exciting about this pic.
Well, let me just tell you, it's not everyday that the Seattle sky is so clear, or so blue! ;D

Brick By Boring Brick

For the record, i disgust myself with the lack of bloggage (ew . . . what a terrible word).

Alas, I am here! I am still alive! Wheee! (and there was much rejoicing)

Things have been super busy lately . . . no lie!

It's officially 10 days until I embark on the 3 day journey back to Austin for Christmas!! I cannot even begin to tell you how excited I am to see my family—they are COMPLETELY worth every single crazy encounter I might have on that bus!

A lot of people are a bit concerned that I'm riding greyhound, but I see it as an opportunity :D It's an opportunity for me to sleep (which i REALLY need) and to write (which i REALLY need to do)!

I've been really excited about some of the songs that I've written lately and the melodies that keep me company while I do. Here is a snippet of some lyrics I've written lately about a friend of mine who has been going through some stuff lately:

and I will do the unthinkable
oh I will feed this chameleon.
I'll be whatever you want me to be
but when I get lost don't come after me
you might lose yourself between the thorns
I'm gone
and I've never missed me more

I haven't recorded it in Garage Band yet, but the story is really teaching me a lot personally.

In other news, tomorrow I get to be part of an AMAZING movement! It's called Help-Portrait and we're going to be taking pictures of people at a housing project in Lake City and I'm SOOO excited! I'll be sure to post pics here tomorrow! :D

PS: I called my niece on her birthday a few days ago and she said the cutest thing:

"It's my birthday, but don't tell anyone, okay."

They were having a family only party and they're gonna have her main party in January as a double party with her sister, Annabelle. I guess she doesn't want anyone to know they weren't invited to the family party ;) too cute!

Back Again

Amanda Martinez is a fan of

Parachute

Create your Fan Badge

It's SOOOO true! I'm a fan!

I LOVE this band so much! So much so in fact, that I'm thinking of singing their song, Winterlove for my work's Holiday Party! I know it's gonna be this huge brave thing, but since moving here to Seattle, I've noticed that a lot of the things I do lately are huge brave things. So why not, y'know? The great thing about the people I work with is that they are not as judgmental as others, so I'm sure that even if I suck they'll at least pat me on the back. ;)

Here's the song (i would of course sing a girl version subbing the "her" for "him" and sounding slightly less manly ;) heheheh)


In other news, Kelley gets here on tomorrow and I'm SO excited to have her here!! She's been such an amazing friend and I really really really love spending time with her! :D And we get to have lots of fun together for the next 2 weeks!

Here's just some of what we got planned:

- Space Needle
- Experience Music Project
- (maybe) Ride the Ducks
- The Aquarium
- Exploring Neighborhoods
- Parachute/Kelly Clarkson Concert
- Justin Nozuka/Sam Bradley Concert
- Pie Night

and that's just the beginning! We're gonna be having sooooo much fun!

And then, in just a few more weeks, I'll be heading home to Austin for some much needed family time :D

I can't WAIT to hug all my friends and family! :D They make my heart happy!

Help!

I had a GREAT meeting last night with my Help-Portrait group! We met up at Cupcake Royale and talked details about our Help-Portrait event that we will be holding in Lake City. We'll be working with Low-Income Housing Institute to provide professional quality portraits for free to families that could otherwise not afford to have their portraits done. :D

For those who don't know what Help-Portrait is, it's a movement that is bringing together great photographers of all levels to use their time,talents, and energy to provide the less fortunate with a great portrait for the holiday season. My group has predominantly professionals, some who are almost pro, and then me—as amateur as they come ;) I really do enjoy being the hobbyist photographer on my team, because I feel like I get this awesome opportunity to learn more about professional photography AND I get to use this great hobby that i love to give back to people that I love :D

When I was a kid and my parents divorced, life was decidedly different. We went from living in a nice house, with tons of toys, and just about every privilege one can imagine to living in a small apartment with my mom, who was now a single-parent managing a job and 3 high-maintenance kids. Hand-me-downs became popular and we had to learn to make things last longer. I remember being selected at school to participate in some of the events they had for low-income-family kids and that odd feeling of "should I feel blessed that they're doing this or is it just another reminder that I'll never have anything fancy to call my own?" My sister, her boyfriend, and my 2 nieces are now also a low-income-family, and I know how great it feels to know that anytime I'm home, I get to do a portrait session (of sorts) with my niece and have some really nice photos to give back to my family. Thus, when I discovered this movement, started by famous photographer Jeremy Cowart, this event was a no-brainer—I'M IN!

I'm working with a group of Seattle photographers, to share the photographic love in our fair city. So far we have three separate housing communities that we are working with to provide family portraits to, as well we are seeking out at least one or two other locations. We estimate we will be able to provide at least 100 families with a wonderful portrait in time for the holiday season!

The awesome thing about Jeremy's vision for this is that it's ALL about others, and not about us (as artists/photographers). We aren't making ANY profit from the event and we're not using any of the shots to build up our portfolios. It's ALL about connecting with others in the way that only photographers can.

If you are living in Seattle and are saying, "Dude, that's cool! I'm not a photographer, and I wouldn't be able to be there at the event to help, but I DO want to help someway." Then please consider donating to the cause. We met last night and rounded up the guesstimation that with rentals and cost of printing the photos, it's about $3 per family. That's 3 bones! 3 smackaroonies! I'll be contributing my own money as well but our goal is to raise $200 for the event to be as successful as possible. If you are in the area and would like to donate three bones to help sponsor a family in need, please contact me by email: amomca@gmail.com or by twitter: twitter.com/amomca or by commenting on this post and we will work out a way for me to pick up the donation. I TOTALLY understand that this is a "strapped for cash" season and especially with the economy, it's harder to give, but if you DO have 3 dollars laying around somewhere, we sure could use it! :D

For more information on Help-Portrait, see the videos & links below:





Help-Portrait
Help-Portrait Seattle
Press Release

I Think I'm Getting Older

Today is my birthday! A little video blog love for ya! :D

Birthday Video Blog: I THINK I'M GETTING OLDER from amanda martinez on Vimeo.

It's my birthday! Help me celebrate the twenty eight!

PS: today we're going to pretend that I'm turning 27 okay?? :D yay! hehehehehe!
PSS: I failed math.

Also as a bonus today, I asked people to share a short/sweet memory that they have of times with me! Randomly throughout the day, I will post them here for all to see and enjoy! Thanks for 27 great years of memories and I look forward to more!

S.G. > Happy Birthday!! First thing I thought of was your Turkey Dance! Hahaha
M.W. > HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! And camp Rise and your suitecase and the stairs, so good. I have more :)
B.P. > :D bday!! Fav memory was def the 'we've got cookies!' night! Also, the family dinners, sat morning brkfast. ...too many to choose..
D.A. > Happy Birthday! and, via your request, cue the indian
K.M. > meeting in Seattle,while Mark & I were @ a conf. Protein Planet, shopping,that hippie stringed instrument store & the ?able marquee. Going 2 lunch with you for the 1sttime in Austin & getting 2 know you a little. I knew right away-I'd found an "adopted daughter
K.D. > Happy Birthday! One of my favorite memories of you - and this is a loooooooooong time ago, is all of your witty wise cracks from the color guard locker room, they were a riot! ...
One of my favorite( and obscure)quotes is "how can we miss you, if you don't leave?" ;) Have a great Birthday! :)
E.Z. > Happy Birthday!!!! Favorite memory??? How bout my entire first year! Snores-ville bunk-mate...LOVE YOU! Have a wonderful day!
A.M. > Happy birthday!!!!! My favorite memory has to be all of us acting a fool up in the prop room!
B.A. > Happy Birthday!!! :) I think to describe my favorite memory with you I just need one word.... BEENO! bahahaha I love you! ♥
E.A. > happy birthday! my favorite memory is the Portico Christmas party
J.C. > HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! remember when we worked at hallmark and you snuck out to get free burts bees stuff then our manager came down stairs.. I was scared, but we didn't get caught! :)
P.L. >Happy Birthday Amanda! Hope you have a fabulous day and maybe even get some Chick Fil A! =) My favorite memory I think has definitely got to be our summer trip this year....more specifically the "5", HAHA! Unforgettable! =)
L.C. > Happy Birthday!! TOO MANY memories! chicken bank, life lessons involving water & media track
C.C. > happy Bday! "My chicken bank won't put out!"
D.M. > happy b-day, left you a vm (I'm kind of a creeper in it). Best memory, wow, too many. Shober receipts, HOF flyers, slapping Jordan, your music video, Let's Get It Started, dragons & HSM tattoos, your sweet MCA jeapardy games, & French fries @ McDonalds

Ticket To Ride

I had a blast hanging out with the Jones clan last night! We had a wonderful dinner, followed by homemade ice cream and cookies! And since I'm such a sucker for board games, we got to play a new one that they had called TICKET TO RIDE :D


I LOVE that game! It's got a great blend of strategy and chance without being such a "that game takes FOR-EVER!" feel. It's definitely one I want to add to my collection! Oh, and they have a pinball machine in their house! I haven't played pinball since I was a kid, but man, now I remember why we would spend HOURS playing pinball at Tilt (video arcade) in Northcross Mall as a kid! I also discovered that Cindy's husband, Evan, always has a song in his head and is willing to share it out loud in the moment, which i DO TOO! :D Nice to know I'm not alone in my funny habits. ;) I always love spending time with the Jones family . . . they know how to have fun, and I can always count on fun scenic routes whenever me and Cindy are driving around ;) I seriously LOVE all the moments I get to share with them!

Here are some pictures from our evening:

Julianna playing with Photo Booth

She's such a clown ;)

Homemade Ice Cream!!!!

I tried to convince him to let me win . . . alas . . . HE WON! :D

Making train routes all over Europe

I'm saving up to make a big line of trains!

Strategizing

I heart pinball :D

Life On Mars

Currently I'm at my desk eating some Chicken Pot Pie Soup and some Sugar Free Jell-O Pudding . . . but my pudding is a bit too thick and it's kinda creeping me out. Don't get me wrong, I ate it . . . I'm just a little worried as to why it's so thick and not Pudding-y (is that a word? well it is now.)

So one of my guilty pleasures lately is GLEE! I am such a SUCKER for musicals. I just. Am. This morning I was walking to work, blasting DON'T STOP BELIEVING in the iPeezy. You know, why don't you take a minute, listen to it (below) and then you can imagine JUST how peppy I was this morning :D

Glee - Don't Stop Believe

I mean, c'mon. Cory Monteith is REASON ENOUGH to love watching that video a million times!

Just sayin' ;)

I wrote two new songs last night! One called REPRIMAND, and one called MAYDAY.
I heart them :D

Maybe one day when me and Cory Monteith are married we can sing it together. Just sayin'. ;)

Tonight I get to go hang out with Cindy J. and I'm SO excited!

And then tomorrow the game plan is to grab some mexican food at Taqueria Guaymas, which Jodi tells me is AMAZING mexican food . . . and you know me, ALWAYS on the hunt for good mexican food. Thus far, Seattle has let me down. But we shall see :D Then after that, I'm gonna go check out the Ballard Locks. A co-worker of mine says that this weekend is prime time to see the salmon swim up the fish ladder. I will take pics, but let's get real, without my digital camera, they're not gonna be AS great. But really, whaddaya do.

Oh, and for those who don't know, someone stole my camera. But since it was stolen from my room, I'm 99.9% sure that it was either one of my housemates, their boyfriends, or a lawn gnome. And since I don't just have an extra 200 bones laying around to blow on a new digi cam, the good 'ol cellyphone cam.

In other news, (literally), SNL's Saturday Weekend Update is back! And don't get me wrong, I love Seth Meyers. But let's get real, Amy Poehler MAKES Weekend Update. Just sayin'.

I'm also really excited about Fall TV shows premiering! Watching BONES tonight on hulu. Watched The Office this morning and laughed so hard! Glee has not disappointed yet. And Lie To Me is next week! :D

I also just bought my tickets to see Justin Nozuka and Sam Bradley in concert in December! I'm excited!

Welp, that's really all the random stuff I got going on lately :D

Sugar High

You wanna know one of my favorite things to do here in Seattle?

Breakfast at Caffe Ladro

I must thank Leah for introducing me to the wonder that IS Caffe Ladro ;)

this place is where it's at for that quick cup-o-joe before work
I am a HUGE fan of all things coffee and their lattes can do no wrong. :D

And what's even more awesome is the baristas that work there. Right now the only ones I know by name are Honnah and Susan, but the guys that work there are amazing as well. I will learn their names eventually. But they're great. They are such great people to talk to and they have great taste in music and they have fun working together, which makes the environment that much funner. I love walking in and they're all making coffee and singing along to some Smashing Pumpkins or Bon Iver or Joan Jett tune and it's just so refreshing to start the morning off with great coffee, free wi-fi, and yummy breakfast foods.

I have been a Starbucks girl for the longest, and don't get me wrong, I still enjoy Starbucks from time to time, but Caffe Ladro is where it's at on workday mornings :D

Just thought I'd share :D

You Keep Me Warm

No really, Texas kept me warm during my vacation. . . 105+ degrees warm, to be exact. Whew! I gotta admit, it does feel quite awesome to be back in a cooler climate.

I had an AMAZING time in Austin! I got to bring Jessica and Christiaan with me and I loved sharing my life and friends and family with them! :D

It was a very emotional weekend—laughing at all the funny memories, crying because we all knew MCA was coming to an end, frustration because I seem to lose things left and right, warmth from seeing my family and friends, and a wide range of other emotions caused by the combination of lack of sleep + lots of coffee + busy schedule. But I'm so glad I got to experience everything :D

A couple of weeks ago I was talking to my friend Rich about this big bittersweet weekend and I go, "You know, nothing like a funeral to bring the family together again." It really was so awesome to reconnect and to hear about how my fellow alums are doing. They have all played such a special role in my life and I am going to work super hard to keep in contact with them all. They mean so much to me! So to all my MCA Alums, thank you so much for keeping my heart warm all those years—I'm gonna try to get out to see all of you! :D In the meantime, utilize Facebook, Myspace and Twitter :D

Here are some pics from my time in Austin:

This lady was sleeping all the way through the graduation—hilarious! :D

I know that normally one wouldn't post a picture of a baby crying, but I ADORE these two angels (my nieces) and it just reminds me how different they are in all their adorableness! Because Vanessa couldn't be more go with the flow and Annabelle gets kinda finnicky. . . I LOVE their little personalities! :D I heart these little ladies! :D

Leslie, Austin's famous cross-dresser who ran for mayor one year :D