Monday, December 29, 2008

Me and Bastian

For anyone who ever grew up in the 80's, you've probably heard of the movie, THE NEVERENDING STORY. Now, growing up, I LOVED that movie! Such a classic. But I must admit, I also own Part 2! hahahahahhahahaha! So there's this one part in the beginning of part 2, where Bastian (Jonathan Brandis) has to jump off the high dive. And as much as he wants to make the team, his fear of the high dive is so overwhelming.

Today, I had a "Bastian" moment. I've been working at my job for the past 4 months, and slowly and steadily, I've found myself more and more unfulfilled. My boss gets frustrated with me and has even snapped on me once. And then I found out recently that she was saying really harsh things about me to a bunch of people behind my back. She doesn't trust me to do my job, and I am a major frustration to her. And the fact that I hold certain religious viewpoints even though we work in an "ecumenical" environment was an issue to her. I had seen the slow deterioration of my sense of self-worth while I was in that job environment. And a few weeks ago, I realized that I needed to get out. I felt this urge in my heart saying it was time to move on. So after talking to some important mentors in my life, I finally resolved to put in my two weeks notice. So today I had my letter of resignation all typed up and printed, and the day before, I had spent so much time going over in my head what I would say. And all day today I had cold feet! I almost DIDN'T do it. But the more I thought about not doing it, the more miserable and sad I felt. So I finally worked up the courage, thanks to a few friends and embraced the fear. So, two weeks from now, I will no longer we working for the Washington Association of Churches. In the meantime, I am applying for various Junior Graphic Design positions at a few design firms here in Seattle. And on the 13th/14th/or 15th, I will be flying down to Austin for the Sexton/Castagnola wedding and to see the birth of my 2nd niece. And I'll get to hang out with some awesome people! Like Kelley Rowe, Elaine, P.Diz and Kel, the MC staff, the Flying Marshmallows and tons of other friends! After that, I'll be back here in Seattle, working an Event Force to make some extra moolah. :D And hopefully by then I will have a job set up. :D No matter what, I don't regret leaving The WAC and I'm ready for the next step! :D

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