Tuesday, December 16, 2008

The Resolution

Jack's Mannequin "The Resolution" - Watch today’s top amazing videos here

One of my favorite bands ever is Jack's Mannequin. They recently released a new album and on it is a song called The Resolution. The beginning of the lyrics go like so:

There's a lot that I don't know
There's a lot that I'm still learning
But I think I'm letting go
I find my body
It's still burning

(you can read the rest of the lyrics at: http://artists.letssingit.com/jacks-mannequin-lyrics-the-resolution-33cdqm1)

First of all, I am a super big fan of Andrew McMahon, the lead singer of Jack's Mannequin. I know that he has been through a lot as an artist and also in his personal life, battling and beating leukemia. And this song isn't necessarily about his lukemia, though it may have something to do with it in general aspects. In a recent interview with Andrew McMahon, he says that THE RESOLUTION is about:

"A real sense that we're making it somewhere. And for what all of that is worth you know, here we are! We're alive and you don't need someone to validate that."

Living here in Seattle, I feel like my life is finding a greater sense of a Resolution. I came here because of a passion started in a small conversation about the state of human life in the city of Seattle. I felt a heart string being pulled, and I knew that one day, I would move here, and help give hope to those feeling empty. Not that the city itself is anything particularly special than any other state in the US, but just that it's where I need to be right now. It's where I see my life resolving. Where I see my heart touching something so tangible and so desperate, and bringing life to something that means more to me than anything else- other people. Since I've been here, I've dealt with so many people, not just from home, but from the city as well in various conversations who don't understand what I'm doing here, why I'm staying, why I left home, why I'm where I am when it all seems to balance on something so silly- that I could develop a passion for people in a city I didn't grow up in, and actually move away from all the "success" i had in Austin.

When I was in Austin, I had...THE LIFE...seriously. I was close to my family, even when I didn't feel like being near them. I was in a leadership position, influencing people from all different walks of life, and I got to express myself creatively and teach amazing students the beauty of media and design. It was AMAZING. But none of that negates the fact that right now, in this moment, I am where I need to be! I love having the opportunity to start from scratch and will do everything I can to live in the moment! There are days when I think about moving back, and I just know that it's NOT an option. I am here, and I am living my dream and my heart's cry. It's real. And though I'm not a youth pastor leading a youth ministry like I've always wanted to do, I believe I'm making a difference in the lives of those directly around me, and in the lives of people I meet in the day to day grind of life. And everyday I walk outside my house, and I breathe the cold air, and I see the streets with people who look so empty, so hurt, and so longing for a smile. And I think, "MAN, I LOVE THIS CITY. I LOVE BEING HERE. I LOVE KNOWING THAT EACH DAY, I GET TO MAKE CHOICES TO BE A LIFE-GIVER TO OTHERS."

Sure, I wish I had the job of my dreams...but for now, I'm just gonna keep moving forward. And trusting and believing, and not giving up. I am committed to living in this resolution.

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