And Run

Happy New Year's Eve!

I hope you all had a fabulous time over the holidays. I know that for me personally, coming home for the holidays can be the most wonderful, but also the most stressful time. Having three families to celeberate the holidays with is sometimes extremely chaotic with all the parties, events, and of course the hang time with friends! And while this vacation isn't over, I wanted to go ahead and share some reflections about this past year and what I'm looking forward to in the next year.

2010

. . . was a year of fully establishing my life in Seattle. This July, I will have lived in Seattle for 3 years! The time has flown by so fast, but it's been entirely worthwhile. This year, I celebrated being at my job for a full year, built stronger friendships with people I want close to me. They encourage and challenge me to be a better human being while accepting me just as I am, which was truly something I was worried about when I first moved to Seatown. Rebuilding your life in another city is a huge undertaking. It forces you to ask yourself who you really are and face that with open arms. I feel like I have done just that this year. My first year living there I was just trying to stay above the surface and make a living. As my second year began there, I took a look at my life and asked myself, "What matters most and who do you want to become when the lights go down?" I am pleased to report that I have never felt more confident and secure about who I am than I have this year. I've learned to navigate rough waters and stand in front of storms with an unwavering faith, neverending love, and a healthy dose of humor.

I did a lot of traveling this year and have learned to truly take hold of my sense of adventure unapologetically. I've built friendships across the country and in my own house that carried me through a year of learning and living.

I could highlight in this post all of my favorite moments, but instead, I'll just link you to one favorite blog post from each month. Feel free to take a look back with me and celebrate the little moments that made 2010 such a big year for me! Also take time out to ask yourself what one thing you learned from each month of this past year.

JANUARY: Exploring Art And Creativity In My Neighborhood

FEBRUARY: Seeing Jack's Mannequin In Seattle

MARCH: Experiencing My First Seder

APRIL: Fun Family Time For Easter

MAY: Learned How To Belly Dance

JUNE: Facing Facts Via Softball

JULY: Parades Are For Friends And Shenanigans

AUGUST: Lessons From The Young And The Young At Heart

SEPTEMBER: Road Trip To Friends, Music, And California

OCTOBER: Trick-Or-Treating As A Narwhal

NOVEMBER: A Birthday Weekend With My Friends And Parachute 

DECEMBER: Giving Back With Help Portrait 2010

2011

. . . is sure to be a year of more smiles, storms, dreams coming true, obstacle courses and lots of relationship building. I'm definitely looking FORWARD to it. I read a blog post this morning at timschraeder.com where Tim talked about setting a theme for the year instead of just making resolutions. It challenged me to take a look at this past year and make some decisions about this next year. My theme for this next year is FORWARD. I want this year to be full of moments where I learn to keep going, to not give up, to push past feelings and just do things without holding myself back. To love fully, to start pursuing deeper relationships. To give fully of my time and energy without worry. To push myself to make moments more meaningful and purposeful. To always be moving forward and not letting moments pass me by. My 2011 will be a year of growth, of new risks, more adventures, stronger focus, and more freedom!

. . . And hopefully it won't take me until December of 2011 to successfully write 2011, instead of 2010, as the date this upcoming year. ;)

Still Be Here

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands
in moments of comfort and convenience,
but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.
- Martin Luther King Jr.

This is one of those quotes I lean on a lot. On Saturday, we played our last non-tournament softball game, and I discovered a lot about myself. I've mentioned before that my family is BIG into sports. I mean, we grew up playing baseball, football, kickball, etc. Well, I didn't personally play all those sports, but I was always surrounded by it. There have been many times I've mentioned in conversation that I am not very competitive, but on Saturday I got a better grasp on that statement. I should change it to:

I am pretty competitive deep down inside,
but I don't like being competitive.
It brings out the worst in me.

Now many could argue that a spirit of friendly competition is good because it teaches you to fight to be better than someone else and someone HAS to come out on top the winner, right? Maybe. But I'm not so sure that perspective works best for me. Because that friendly competition for me is never actually very friendly. I realize that deep inside I can become extremely competitive, but when I am, I'm not entirely proud of the things that run through my mind or come out of my mouth. I say hurtful things about others in my mind and I get really angry and determined to make someone else pay for my losses or struggles. This just leaves me a loser in either case.

And what's worse is that no matter what comes out of my mouth or what I repeat over and over in my head, the opponent doesn't receive the full effect of the pain. I do. I cannot tell you how discouraging it is to try to make it to first base without getting out—you hope deep down inside that the short stop will drop the ball or some elf will come snatch it out of his hand and throw it to the outfield . . . I mean really, where ARE my angels in the outfield?? ;P But the damage comes when I walk back to the dugout, upset that I didn't "make the cut." Upset that I wasn't "good enough." I talk myself down and I adopt the theory that I'll never make it. This is just how my mind naturally works. I mean, there are things that I love and things I KNOW I can do well . . . sports . . . just aren't anywhere near the top of the list. Sometimes I really do just accept in my mind that I'll never beat my weakness.

But after the game on Saturday, I took a few moments to sit and think and meditate on where I've come from and I was able to note the different difficulties I've been able to overcome. I realized that it was when I stopped allowing those negative words to become absolute truth that I was able to get headway and work towards overcoming them. It was when I allowed faith to overtake my human perspective that I was able to do something that I'd never been able to do before. For instance, the fact that I actually make contact and hit the ball, as opposed to just standing there, not swinging like I did when I played as a 5th grader . . . which . . . was the last time I'd played before joining the softball team last year. Also, seeing the vast improvements I've made this year as opposed to where I was last year is encouraging.

I realized that somewhere along the way, I made the games about my personal success as it pertained to points and a win, as opposed to being a team player and focusing on the fun moments with the people that mattered. When I focus on the right things, the difficulties become less about the technicalities and measuring sticks, and more about the here and now learning experiences that build strength and a worthwhile season of my life. And amazingly, when I focus on the right things, I get better at clearing the hurdles.*

I'm really looking forward to the tournament this upcoming weekend! And I'm not just saying that to soften the blow because we're not the #1 team—I mean, we're still in the top 3 as of now—but because it'll be the last hurrah for this season. The last chance to make the lives of others more full and more fun. I'll give my best and I'll try with all my might to end every inning with a positive, hopeful thought and do my best to focus on the people that make our team amazing. Some would call that a cop-out, I call that making the most of life's opportunities. If I play defeated, it won't matter what the score is, I'll still be defeated and I don't want to live like that.


*totally mixing up my sports there ;)

Breakeven

I'm looking back on all the life that you gave me
And I've never felt more alive
No words explain all the ways that you changed me
The way you made wrong things right

There will be days that I'm barely hanging on
And then I'll think of you, and you and me
But when everything has turned shades of gray
You still color the world around me

-Color the World by Amanda Martinez

Last night was very eventful—and I'm not just talking about the football game. For the past few weeks, one of my co-worker's husband has been in critical condition in the ICU with some serious organ failure due to a bout with Hepatitis C. Yesterday at the end of the work day, we got the call that she was going to take him off of life support. A bunch of my co-workers were going to be going to the hospital to be with her in that moment. In the grand scheme of things, I'd never met her husband and she and I were not especially close—but I knew I needed to be there. No one should die alone, and no one should have to go through the death of a loved one alone. She needed people she could cry with, share memories with, and just BE with. I wanted her to know that I was there for her.

A bunch of us showed up and suited up (so that we wouldn't catch any diseases from her dying husband) and surrounded my co-worker with love and support. It was one of the most powerful displays of affection and family I'd seen in a while. My co-worker's husband's family was not very close and so very few of them showed up (even during the course of the hospitalization). Our entire staff was there, save for two people who had colds and therefore couldn't join us. We were their family—and it showed.

I got to watch an amazing woman express her love and honor to this wonderful man who had an uncanny way of making her come alive, and come out of hiding. I loved watching her love and care for him while we were there, caressing his pallid bony skin and bragging about how handsome he still is. I think one of the sweeter moments for me was when she turned directly to me and said,

"Amanda, I wish you two could have met. Ray would have loved you and loved spending time with you. He would've loved your big heart and your witty sense of humor and he would have loved hearing you sing your songs."

She didn't say it as an off-the-cuff nicety. She meant it and it caught my attention. It's not so much the accolades that caught my attention, but the fact that she, having known and loved this man, could speak for him with such certainty—she knew him that well. It moved my heart. So I wrote about it—I've included some of the first round lyrics (Color The World) at the top of the post. I'm still working on the song, but being in that room, witnessing that tender honest love inspired me that true love is, in fact, not lost. It is waiting, and I'll be ready when it shows it's lovely face. :)

Last Leaf

One of my co-workers has left a plant in my office (see above). I wouldn't be so concerned, except for the fact that when God was handing out 'Green Thumbs,' He skipped me in line. You would think that if they had seen this OTHER plant in my office (see below), they would take the hint . . .

My office is the place where plants come to die.

Seriously.

I really am like THE WORST when it comes to small pets/plants. I had a pet goldfish for like 3 weeks, a beta fish for like a month, and a pet rock for like 2 months. It's worse with plants. They don't beg for attention. They don't stare at you with googly eyes until you water them. It's a wonder this plant hasn't died in the course of a day. I think plants make me feel the worst though, cause really . . . what do you have to do?

Step 1: Water it.

Step 2: Place in sunlight.

Step 3: Watch it grow.

or in my case . . .

Step 1: Stare at it, wondering what kind of alarm system I can set up to remind me to water it.

Step 2: Become frustrated with the thought of having another alarm system of any kind to remind me to do something that I'm not too terribly concerned with.

Step 3: Look at plant 3 weeks later as it is dying and say, "Huh. When did that get here? Eh. I'll come back to it."

Step 4: When someone comes in and notices the plant dying, express pity and then water the plant a little bit while in their presence.

Step 5: Once they leave, forget plant exists.

(repeat steps 1-5 until plant is completely dead, then take a picture of it,
blog about it, and leave it sitting in the same place to rot away)

Man. It's a good thing I don't work in a plant nursery:

DEAD PLANTS:
I'll pay YOU $5 to take them home!

You Wait For Rain

This morning I walked out the door ready to face the elements. What I didn't know was that the elements would be a hard rain, as opposed to the normal weak rain we tend to get here. This wouldn't have been so bad, had I not misplaced my umbrella somewhere.

The good thing, is that I don't mind walking around in the rain. It's quite exhilarating actually. It brings this fresh perspective. It's like things around me are being cleaned by the rain, and every puddle is an opportunity for a splash fest. ;)

And what's more, is that while I was waiting for the bus this morning, Kyler England's YOU WAIT FOR RAIN came on my iPeezy. It's like my little Shuffle knew what I needed ;)

Here's the song for reference:



But it was really inspiring this morning when I heard it after I had just gotten done traipsing through the rain, with my shoes soaking wet. I thought to myself, I always want to chase the storms. (Insert cheeeeeeesiness here)

One of the funner things that happened when I was at home, was walking to the store with my dad. He kept INSISTING that we use the sidewalk, and I kept INSISTING that we walk through the dirt and grass. I don't know if there's a deep down psychological want/need to embody the wildness of Lizzy in Pride & Prejudice (cause that's all I imagine when I walk through dirt and grass and rain and mud) but I'd like to think there is a part of me that enjoys walking off the beaten path. I don't always like doing things the way everyone else does them. Sometimes I do. But more often, I don't. I like to use my imagination and be wild and crazy. I like to be different—not for the sake of damning the man—but just because I do. I have this urge in me to do random things . . . a lot. In fact, I recently saw this featured on another blog and I was like, "I WANT TO DO THAT!!!!"

And I'm confident I will! In the meantime, I'll continue to chase the storms :D

----
PS: If I catch my "death of cold" from being out in the rain today, I give you FULL permission to come back to this post (once I start complaining about having a cold) and commenting: I TOLD YOU SO.

PPS: If i should ACTUALLY catch my DEATH from said cold, I would like to be cremated and given to Guilermo Del Toro as a Christmas present. Also, I'd like for my iTunes collection to be commemorated in the Billboard Hall of Fame. Also, I'd like for everyone to leave me cupcakes, not flowers. ;)

--end.ridiculousness--

I Know Where I've Been

This has been my FIRST full year living in Seattle!

I wanted to take a moment to reflect on some amazing things that have happened in my life this past year. I decided to give a month-by-month illustration of some highlights of the year. There were seriously SO many things that happened, but I could only choose one per month. So, without further adieu . . . cue the indian:

I'm seriously so excited for all the awesome things in store for the next year!

Sleigh Ride

Hey everyone! Well, I'm finally here, home in the ATX! I kept a journal while I was on the trip, so that I could share the memories with you! So here they are:


ROAD REPORT ONE:
I'm sitting here at the Greyhound Bus Station in Billings, Montana, happy to report that everything went well on the first leg of the trip! I got halfway through reading SLEEPERS and when we get back on the road, I'll read some more. Aside from some random texts to my dad to update him on where I am, I've been 'tech free' for a whole day! :D

It's amazing how freeing a lack of technology can be. Don't get me wrong, I'm looking forward to reconnect . . . see what I did there?!? ;) but in the meantime, I'm enjoying reading, writing, and drawing on the bus.

I'm actually quite proud of my on-the-road eating habits. I've predominantly been snacking on Granola and Clif bars. I slept most of the morning away, but when we stopped for lunch, I had a hot dog and a big container of fruit, and lots of water! It's been really nice enjoying the countryside. Mostly it's been mountains and snow, neither of which I'm a huge fan of. Most people on my bus have been really quiet and have kept to themselves. Even the little baby on board has been seemingly chill. I think she cried once, for 5 minutes 'til she got her bottle . . . of course she could've been fussier and I could've just slept through it. ;)

One funny thing I saw on the ride from Seattle to Billings was a TACO JOHN'S . . . one simple name, SO many jokes! ;) But the slogan was: THE BEST WEST-MEX! I really don't even know what to think. Growing up on Tex-Mex has spoiled me. I cringed and laughed all at the same time. I imagine it tastes really fishy and like it's trying too hard, much like most Mexican food I've had in the Pacific Northwest. But once again, I'm biased and spoiled.

The next leg of the trip leads me to Denver, Colorado. I know it sounds silly, but I can't wait to get back on the bus. Each leg of travel brings me closer to home—to the friends and family I miss and love so dearly.

Well, my hand is cramping up from the writing, and it's almost time to load up for Denver!

. . . UNTIL NEXT STOP . . .


ROAD REPORT TWO:
The Denver Greyhound Station is what nightmares are made of. The people working the station are so unaffected and rude. A simple question is seen as insubordination of sorts, as if every passenger should already know the inner-workings of the Greyhound system.

I was sitting at the phone charging counter and there were 2 metal chairs already at the little bar lined with power outlets. After sitting there for about 10 minutes, one of the station guards came by and demanded that we get off the chairs because they weren't to be used at the charging station. So he took them to a nearby table, where no one sat in them.

The good news is that I'm now on the bus, on my way to Dallas to see Chad and Katie . . and then—HOME TO AUSTIN!

Dear Denver Greyhound Station,
GET OVER YOURSELF!
Love, Amanda

PS: There's a guy on my bus that is originally from Louisiana. His voice reminds me of Remy LeBeau's! It's quite awesome! :D


. . . UNTIL NEXT STOP . . .


ROAD REPORT THREE:
I finally finished reading SLEEPERS! I love the book just as much as I love the movie now! Though I DO wish the movie had included the Pizza Parlour scene. This mentally handicapped kid comes into the pizza parlour and, out of habit, puts all this pepper on his pizza, and this tough older guy comes in and picks on him and teases him. Then the guys (Michael, Tommy, John, and Shakes) all gang up on the bully and totally rescue the kid. It's sweet :D

Well, I'm here in Amarillo, TX and I finally caved and got some 'crap food' to eat. I know, I know, sad. But I DID hold out for a while. And although I know I shouldn't have dipped my chicken strips in that nasty thick truck stop gravy, I did. I'm 99.9% sure I'm gonna regret it, but oh well. ;)

The people on my bus have been quite interesting! This one guy on my bus keeps reminding everyone that he's a "JUGGALO" . . . which is a reference to the Insane Clown Posse, for those who don't know. The only thing that sucks is that this one guy who sat next to me on the last leg of the trip totally farted halfway through the ride. It was RANK! :| I mean, even compared to some of the MC van rides with the guys . . . it was nasty! So, he claims the farts, and then proceeds to pull out a medical mask to protect HIMSELF from the stench! Un.real. :( I guess he never heard about bringing enough for everyone. Needless to say, I'm going to search for a new riding buddy for the next leg of the trip. All in all, things are going well. I've been sleeping A LOT! I guess I needed it. ;)

. . . UNTIL NEXT STOP . . .


ROAD REPORT FOUR:
I got an early Christmas present, in the form of Chad Sherlock and his girlfriend, Katie, meeting me at the Dallas Greyhound Station dressed up as Santa and an Elf! LOVED IT!! We got to hang out and eat some McDonald's . . . after driving around for a while trying to find this elusive cafe I found on Google Maps—YOU FAIL, GOOGLE MAPS! ;) I was really hoping to get some breakfast, but after ordering a Sausage, Egg and Cheese Meal (the #4), the lady asked if I wanted large fries with that and I was like, uhmmmm. . . then we realized they weren't serving breakfast at 3 a.m.—who knew? ;)

I had SO much fun hanging out with them and hearing all sorts of fun stories and just sharing with them about life in Seattle. They reminded me of just how blessed I am to have amazing friends, with such big hearts and the ability to just warm your heart with a simple smile! I love them! :D

The only thing that sucked is that I thought my bus was leaving at 5:25, so I was like, frantic about being back at the station at 5:00. But in reality, my bus wasn't even scheduled to leave until 6:45. BIG DIFFERENCE. Well, I just waited in the station, and did some reading from my Creative Screenwriting mag. I was really excited cause they did a feature on THE LOVELY BONES, which i want to see SOOOOO bad! It's one of my favorite books and I can't wait to see what Peter Jackson makes of it! Also, they mentioned a blip about how Peter Jackson and his team are joining up with Guillermo Del Toro to make THE HOBBIT. I'm so JAZZED! Man, if I could intern under someone in the film industry, it would DEFINITELY be Guillermo Del Toro. His creativity and style astound me. So yeah, THE HOBBIT is a must!

My dad met me at the station and it was SO good to hug him and to just get re-acquainted with Austin, this city I love :D Now I'm home and just chillaxin, having taken a shower to get that Greyhound stench off of me, and for dinner, we're going to RUDY'S BBQ! Then, tonight I get to go have coffee at Mozart's with Stephanie Bailey Cole, who I haven't seen in years! :D This is gonna be a great vacation!

IT'S SO GREAT TO BE HOME!

Tripping Wire

Have you ever been to Chuck E. Cheese?

If you have, what do you remember?

Here's what I remember. I remember going to Chuck E. Cheese and going up front to the stage and my brother and other guy cousins going up to the female robotic character that dances around on the stage and looking up her skirt. No. Lie. Creeps. ;)

I also remember that I never really enjoyed their pizza. And that says a lot. Cause PIZZA is my weakness. And you know, they say that in your weakness, God is strong. And I gotta testify. In my pizza, God is strong! I love pizza. :D

I ate pizza today for lunch. I went to Pagliacci's pizza and ordered my pizza, got my pizza and stood in line to pay. Next to me was this chick who looked like she stepped right out of Sailor Moon. No. Lie. So naturally, I'm thinking . . . day before Halloween, office party, dress up, fun costume. I was a HUGE fan of Sailor Moon when I was a kid. So I did the only rational thing in my brain at the moment and I complimented her.

It went like this:

Me: I LOVE your costume! I was always a fan of Sailor Moon. You really rock the outfit. (all said with a goofy grin only a 6 year old could have)
Her: (looking slightly offended) Um. Thanks, but it's not a costume.
ME: (in an awkward attempt to recover) oh. sorry.

Luckily we were both paying at the time so it was a short conversation, after which I made a bee line for the door.

Okay. Let's get real. I've had awkward moments before. I mean, just last night some chick in a car next to me saw me sniffing my new coffee grounds from Cupcake Royale. I know I'm awkward and crazy stuff happens to me all the time. I get it.

But the look on her face seriously made me feel like I'd just run over her cat or something.

K.Rowe offered me solace. But a word to the wise, unless it's Halloween night, just let it go. just. let. it. go.

Cry Me A River

Do you ever have those people who feel the need to continually rain on your parade? You know, the Debbie Downer type? The ones where you could be like:

I JUST WON THE LOTTERY!

and they'd be like, "Oh great. You just wait, all your relatives are gonna come asking for your money and then the government is gonna come asking for your money. And then the money is gonna ruin your life. And you'll say you're gonna spend it on others but really you're just gonna end up buying 25 Big Macs a day. And then you're just gonna hate your life and you're gonna end up lonely and afraid and crying yourself to sleep every night. . ." woh woh woh.

It's actually QUITE annoying. I mean, you could be on cloud nine and they'll just drag you 6 feet under with their crappy attitudes. I mean, sure, winning the lottery comes with it's baggage, but really people, quit raining on parades! Let people just be happy about something before coming in with your insanely moody blues. Let them figure it out on their own, or at least don't be such a D-bag about it.

And for the record, no, i did not win the lottery. But i wish i did ;)

. . . cue the Debby Downer: "WHY CAN'T YOU JUST BE CONTENT WITH WHAT YOU HAVE? IT'S SILLY TO HOPE FOR THAT. GOD DOESN'T LOVE PEOPLE WHO WIN THE LOTTERY. BESIDES, NO ONE EVER REALLY WINS WHEN IT COMES TO THE LOTTERY." Thank you. No really. I get it. Thank you. Now go away. No, I know what you meant. And I knew what you meant the last 20 times. Thank you. Just go.

Why is it that no matter how happy people are, whether it be about a new job, a new outfit, a new relationship, a new baby, a new car, starting a charity, getting married, a new step to success, a good diagnosis, etc. SOMEONE has to be the bearer of bad news? I feel like if being a full-time bearer of bad news was a job, we wouldn't be struggling in this economy.

For those Debbie Downers, I ain't mad at'cha. Wait. Maybe I am. Just a little. No. A fair amount. I wish you'd grow up and quit badgering me and my friends. . . and everyone really. Take a walk outside, look at all the things and people surrounding you, and learn to be appreciative of something already.

Oh, and if you're gonna have to bring others down with your not-so-kind words, maybe do it face to face or in an email and not on Facebook. K? :D

> end rant <

Back Again

Last night's In-Store performance of Parachute was off the chain! The guys are so amazingly friendly and fun to talk to. I also got to meet some other Parachute fans and I'm so excited to have new friends :D






Things are starting to cool down here, which is nice. That 103 degrees yesterday was ridiculous. And when I got home, for some reason, I half expected it to be cooled down. Alas, it was still a sauna. But at least I got to sleep at a decent time.

FUNNY STORY BREAK:
I went to grab lunch at Pagliacci Pizza today and I guess when I sat down, the chair slipped my gauchos down just a bit. So I'm walking down Mercer St. . . .which is a busy street. And I feel a breeze and I look down and I realize my pants are down and I'm totally like flashing my underoos at all the passersby. And here I was thinking they were all checking out my Cons. Whooops. I actually pantsed myself. Who knew? ;)

I get to see Parachute again tonight with The Script. I'm really looking forward to rocking out :D

Burning Down The House

Things are really heating up here in Seattle!

This morning I turned on the TV to watch the news (a rare occasion indeed) and the forecaster guy (i'm pretty sure that's the technical term for his position) was all sorts of excited and was like:

"And today, we may actually break a record! If we top out at 101 degrees, then we will beat the record of 100 degrees in Seattle from 1981!"

And never have I wished so much that i could reach my arm through the tv screen and smack that guy in the face. Seriously? That record breaking 101 is no bigee for this Texas girl, EXCEPT for the fact that, living in Seattle, most places here don't have Central Air, including my house. So my room is a sauna. I actually have to get a cold compress on my head before I go to bed to help me sleep. My little tower fan is working as hard as it can, but this heat is ridiculous. I so wasn't prepared for this. Oh well. At least my boss got me a box fan for my office today, so the shades are drawn, I got the big box fan running and two little mini-me fans. It's so nice to not be drenched in sweat. :D

In other news, I'm pretty bummed that Rachelle Lefevre is going to be replaced by Bryce Dallas Howard for Eclipse. :( Eclipse is my FAVORITE one in the Twilight Saga, and I was really looking forward to seeing Victoria's character step up her game into uber-fierceness. BDH just seems too sweet and innocent for the role. Especially after seeing her in Lady in the Water and The Village and in the Spidey movie. I know she's probably gonna get a lot of backlash from other Twilight fans, and to a certain extent, I feel sorry for her. But let's get real. Rachelle Lafevre is a fiercely bad mamma jamma and she really brings it to the character. I hope BDH can bring it as well.

In otro otro news, I GET TO SEE PARACHUTE AT A MEET & GREET/ACOUSTIC PERFORMANCE TODAY!!

After work, I'm walking all 4 blocks to get to Easy Street Records to go see them and I'm so excited! They have an amazing sound and those guys are so funny! If you haven't checked out their website yet, you should. JUST CLICK HERE. I also get to go to their concert tomorrow night at The Crocodile and I can't wait! :D



Well my lappy toppy is in the shop. And it was funny, because Evan, the Genius Bar guy who helped me out was like, "Why did that other Mac Genius ask you to reschedule? That makes no sense. He should have just taken it in then and there." We were laughing so much at so many things, and we got to talk about macs and the upcoming stuff in September (which is when my apple care expires) and it made me smile.

I also got to have dinner with Cindy Jones, who is just such an amazing woman! She seriously refreshes me so much! I love being in her company. AND she made these pita pizza things that I've gotta get the recipe for! They were delish!

Okay well I will update again tomorrow and share some photos and such with you all! Peace!

My Secret Is My Silence

One of my favorite blogs to read is POST SECRET. [disclaimer: content is not always appropriate for younger viewers] I've always been kinda curious about what kind of lives people lead.
_are they like me?
_have the seen the things I've seen?
_have they gone on amazing adventures?
_do they struggle with the same things I do?
_what can I learn from them?
_are they funny?
_what kind of pets do they have?

. . . the list goes on. Even as a kid when we used to drive down the highway or through the neighborhood I would look at windows and see people and imagine what their lives would be like. I would run scenarios about family dinners and job promotions and dance recitals and lots of other stuff.

So when I read Post Secret, I feel more connected to the world around me. I laugh. I cry. I get angry. I get my imagination sparked. It's such a cool thing.

I've never actually sent in a postcard, but eventually I will. The guy who started it all, Frank Warren, posts new secrets that people mail in on postcards every Sunday and on Twitter also (@postsecret). There's a new PostSecret book coming out soon:


and so in honor of that, and inspiration to continue to share my life honestly with you guys, I've made some PostSecrets of my own. I'm not going to submit any of these to P.S. because they're officially not secret anymore, and that's okay, but eventually I will send in a REAL postcard creation of a secret of mine.

I wanted to share with you guys some of my secrets, not to be pretentious or sensational with it, or to cry out for pity, but just to share my life, to encourage others and to continue to grow past my past. So without further adieu, CUE THE INDIAN!






Related Post: DIRTY LITTLE SECRET

Open Your Eyes

Happy Sunday everyone! What? What do you mean the day's almost over??? Schwat?? Un.believable. So, I'm finally starting to feel better (can you tell???)
hint---> all the unnecessary "???'s" that keep escaping from my mind onto the screen

Yesterday I actually got to get out of the house and get some fresh air. PS: being cooped up in your room for 2 days with strep throat is lame. Seriously. And no amount of Facebook, Twitter, TV, or yes, even James Morrisson's amazing voice could keep me from going batty. It was ridiculous. But yesterday I got to go downtown and do some shopping. Got some new makeup from Sephora. . . and I don't know HOW I WAS SURVIVING without Urban Decay's Primer Potion. Really. I also got to go to Pike Place Market, and bought some honey and just took in the beauty of the flowers in the stalls and was so quickly reminded of just how much i LOVE this city! Also, Blockbuster was going out of business in Crown Hill so I stopped by and got 4 movies for $20. And I got a coupon for a book at Barnes and Noble and bought SLEEPERS, which is one of my absolute favorite movies. I've been reading it on the bus and it hasn't made me fall asleep yet! :)

A really crazy cool thing happened this morning during Sunday School. Okay, so the fact that B— was the only one to show up wasn't that cool, but still I had a great talk with him as we played 3 rounds of pool. We talked about "disciplism," which was something I learned in Master's Commission from Dan Matlock. [more about "disciplism" here] and to start off, I asked B— what "discipleship" was. His reply was, "Something to do with being a disciple?" And we talked about discipleship for a bit. Then I asked him what "evangelism" was and he was like, "Evangelism? I've never heard of that. What's that?" And he was being dead serious.

I was astounded. It's so crazy the things I've taken for granted. Growing up in the "Bible Belt," you go to church and it's like, everyone knows EVERY Christianese word ever. Kids in 3rd grade know what discipleship, evangelism, prophetic, warfare, and the like all mean. They memorize verses about this stuff. But being up here in Seattle I've learned that there's so much that young Christian teenagers don't seem to know about. It really challenges me to put it in a way that makes it easily understandable and will help make it not a "churchy" thing. It gives me an opportunity to change the bland term "evangelism" into something that actually makes sense and doesn't teach a lifestyle of leaving trcts instead of tips and that a hand-out is meaningless without a hand-up. We had a great talk about how living an authentic faith-filled life that will help him leave a positive influence in his class that is made up of 95% athiests and how to develop habits that will help him live as a reflection of Christ.

I personally get hung up on some of the terminology used in Christianity, because having spent most of my life under a cynical perception of faith, certain terms have already left a weird impression on me. It was interesting when he said he'd never heard of the term "evangelism" before because it left me to wrestle with myself as to whether or not to continue calling it that or whether I should just lay it out there with a different catch-phrase. I ended up sharing a little bit about the misconceptions of that term and what I believe the Word of God means when it mentions evanelistic instances. I loved hearing what he thought and learning about some of his struggles with connecting faith and life. Being a mentor to these students is helping me grow just as much as it's helping them grow. I love where I am and what I get to do!

Friends They Are Jewels

Reflections from the "4th on the 5 Adventures"

I am really really glad that I have friends who are willing to travel up to see me and see this beautiful city that I live in. I learned so much from our "4th on the 5 Adventures."

I learned:

- that differences can be bridges to stronger friendships

- it's okay if things don't go according to plan

- more about how to "roll with the punches"

- even the seemingly strong, independent people have deep insecurities

- not everyone shares my view of the world, and that's okay

- I have beautiful friends

- I pick the lamest karaoke songs

- despite picking lame songs, I LOVE karaoke

- years change people, and change is a good thing

- Twilight should have been filmed at least partially in Forks, WA or at least closer to it. I guarantee that Olympic National Forest had some amazing meadows

- I'm a careful driver and obeying the law is a big deal for me, and I'm pretty glad about that

- Don't park your car on the street in front of my house

- Don't leave your iPod adapter in a nice new rental car

- My friends have good taste in music too

- I need to get over myself

- The years I spent in Master's Commission building friendships is something I will NEVER regret.

- Stay on the 5

To P.Lo and Joy: I adore you both :D I miss you already and though I wish I could have gotten over myself at various moments in the trip, you should know that you make my life better. :D

Northwest Highway

Day 4 Report from the "4th on the 5 Adventures"

This is the blog post that explains why I chose the title, "4th on the 5." My friends came up for the 4th of July weekend, and we spent the majority of our time on I-5. Whether it was driving to and from the airport, or getting lost in western Washington, we spent some truly quality time on the 5. ;)

We woke up Sunday morning in Forks, Washington ready for a fun time at La Push Beach! We weren't expecting it to be quite as chilly as it was. It was really cold. :( But we went anyway. But first we decided to do a little bit of driving around Forks. We went to the visitor center and took some photos near Bella's truck and then came upon some friendly looking guys. We were hungry and didn't know where to go, so we thought we'd ask:

Hahahahahahhaaha!

Then we went down to the beach and me and Patsy drove to First Beach, while Joy walked the length of the beaches from Third to First on a path. Patsy was cold so she waited in the car and I decided to get out and enjoy the beauty of the overcast beach. Yes folks, it doesn't matter if it's sunny or not—i LOVE the beach. Being near the water is so freeing to me. I don't know why, it just is. Give me water over mountains any day! I got to climb on the rocks and sit along the water and I just got to take in the beauty of the scenery. I also got to relax and sing some songs that I made up while I was sitting there and just allow the words in my heart to come out of my mouth. I had such an amazing time! When Joy finally got to First Beach, we decided to re-walk the path she had taken and then go fly kites down near Third Beach. What she failed to mention was the hiking that took place to get there. The path led to a trail, and for those who REALLY know me, you know that i DESPISE hiking, climbing, etc. I'm not so fascinated with spikey leaves and bugs and rough terrain. Just. Not. A. Fan. At. All. But I did it and we got there and I got to fly my kite. :D I also got to take a swim in the frigid water! I kept debating whether or not to do it, but then I was like, "How often do I get to come to the beach?" So I did. And thought it took my breath away (literally) at first, it got better and I really enjoyed it.

As a recap of our adventures, here is a video blog:

PS: Stay on the 5 !