Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Last Leaf

One of my co-workers has left a plant in my office (see above). I wouldn't be so concerned, except for the fact that when God was handing out 'Green Thumbs,' He skipped me in line. You would think that if they had seen this OTHER plant in my office (see below), they would take the hint . . .

My office is the place where plants come to die.


I really am like THE WORST when it comes to small pets/plants. I had a pet goldfish for like 3 weeks, a beta fish for like a month, and a pet rock for like 2 months. It's worse with plants. They don't beg for attention. They don't stare at you with googly eyes until you water them. It's a wonder this plant hasn't died in the course of a day. I think plants make me feel the worst though, cause really . . . what do you have to do?

Step 1: Water it.

Step 2: Place in sunlight.

Step 3: Watch it grow.

or in my case . . .

Step 1: Stare at it, wondering what kind of alarm system I can set up to remind me to water it.

Step 2: Become frustrated with the thought of having another alarm system of any kind to remind me to do something that I'm not too terribly concerned with.

Step 3: Look at plant 3 weeks later as it is dying and say, "Huh. When did that get here? Eh. I'll come back to it."

Step 4: When someone comes in and notices the plant dying, express pity and then water the plant a little bit while in their presence.

Step 5: Once they leave, forget plant exists.

(repeat steps 1-5 until plant is completely dead, then take a picture of it,
blog about it, and leave it sitting in the same place to rot away)

Man. It's a good thing I don't work in a plant nursery:

I'll pay YOU $5 to take them home!

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