The Boob Fairy

My co-worker Leah introduced this song to me and I die laughing every time I hear it!  Granted, I'm not lacking in this area, but it's just genuinely funny!!  It's a song by a chick named Dierdre Flint.

Here are the lyrics:

When I was in my teenage years, I did just what I should
I listened to my mother and I was kind and sweet and good
And my friends and I did rituals and I prayed with all my might
That this would be the evening that she'd stop along her flight
Well, that was several years ago and that chick's long overdue
And it's time I came to terms with something plainly clear to you.

The boob fairy never came for me
No, the boob fairy never came for me

Okay, I'm perky and I'm cute and I've got a great personality
But the boob fairy never came for me

Well, we were the third house on a country drive, I thought
Maybe she just got lost, so I hung my bra on the mailbox
Til the neighbors took it off
And all my friends got visits and expanded through the years
And left me wailing to the gods buying training bras at Sears
Still I harbor hopes, she'll come for me, I know she will
I'd get 'em done myself if she'd agree to split the bill
The boob fairy never came for me
No the boob fairy never came for me

Look, I wasn't wanting melons, just a cute curvaceous B
But the boob fairy never came for me.

This isn't a song about boobs. Not really. 

The boobs are just a set of metaphors to symbolize everyone's 

fear of human inadequacy. 

Hey! We've all felt the pain of being dissed by one fairy or another,

 so during the next refrain I want you to join in with your 

own fairy that never paid a call. Maybe it's the height fairy or the butt nymph. 

Men, maybe it's the pectoral or hair fairy or maybe 

some other fairy you just want to mumble about. 

Look, nobody's going to ask you to enunciate. 

And sisters, I don't want you feeling alienated 

because you happen to be full-figured. 

Just change the line to the boob fairy wouldn't let me be or 

the boob fairy became obsessed with me. 

Okay, here comes the refrain. 

Everybody join in.
The boob fairy never came for me
No the boob fairy never came for me
Though the hip fairy came two times
and the thigh fairy came three
The boob fairy never came for me.